Watch My Show: Suburgatory's Emily Kapnek Answers Our Showrunner Survey

Critics and viewers have already put down roots in Suburgatory, which has shown enough early promise to land a full-season order from ABC. The quirky comedy, which stars Jane Levy (Shameless) as a sarcastic teen whose single dad (Jeremy Sisto) moves them to suburbia, has averaged 9.3 million viewers after five airings. That's solid — but for those of you who haven't yet traveled to Suburgatory, executive producer Emily Kapnek answered our first show-runner survey, explaining why viewers should tune in.
TV Guide Magazine: I've got room for just one new show on my DVR. Tell me why it should be yours.
Emily Kapnek: You can increase the recording capacity on your DVR by adding an external hard drive. I think it's worth considering. I priced some out for you; it's a hundred-dollar problem. I only bring this up because there's more than one new show worth watching this season.
TV Guide Magazine: What happens if we don't watch your show?
Kapnek: If you don't watch Suburgatory on the night it airs: dry heaving, a metallic taste in the mouth, rapid loss of bone density. If you DVR the program and watch it later: just the metallic taste.
TV Guide Magazine: Give us an algorithm for your show. For example, Glee equals Grease minus Stockard Channing plus Ryan Seacrest's iPod divided by Lady Gaga's meat dress.
Kapnek: Suburgatory equals Kramer vs. Kramer minus Kramer plus botulism.
TV Guide Magazine: What's the best thing anyone has said or written about your show?
Kapnek: @eatyourlasagne: "I would love to turn every single line of dialogue from Suburgatory into a giant Tootsie Pop and devour it all in 5 to 8 licks. #notdirty"

TV Guide Magazine: What makes your cast the best on TV?
Kapnek: What makes Burger King the "Home of The Whopper?" The Whopper, I guess. This might sound overly sentimental... but to me our cast is the Whopper. They have it all. They are smart, scorchingly funny and for the most part, up for anything. They are all heading to Vegas together, this weekend. Like, all of them. They adore each other and that translates on screen. I am in love with them, collectively and individually.
TV Guide Magazine: What's an alternate title for your show?
Kapnek: Mr. Belvedere. Not as good, I admit.
TV Guide Magazine: If you weren't the showrunner for this show, which series would you most like to work on?
Kapnek: Back to Parks and Recreation!
TV Guide Magazine: Showrunner battles are all the rage these days. Pick a rival show, any show, to start a fight with.
Kapnek: That sounds like a terrible idea.
TV Guide Magazine: Let's scare the network. Tell us an idea that didn't make it out of the writers' room.
Kapnek: There may have been an early storyline that involved Lisa trying to murder Dalia.
TV Guide Magazine: Of your cast members, who would fare best on Dancing With the Stars?
Kapnek: Jeremy Sisto. I mean, you have to go with Sisto, right?
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