We know there's no IQ test to become a cast member of Fox's Paradise Hotel (airing Mondays and Wednesdays at 9 pm/ET), but hello? It seemed to us like Andon, the first stud muffin to be eliminated from the hot-to-trot race, was really asleep at the wheel. How could he possibly go two long weeks without scoring?

"It was never really my intention to go there and hook up with anybody," the 26-year-old graphic designer tells TV Guide Online. "But if Fox says to you, 'Hey, we're going to pay you to go hang out with a bunch of really cool people in the most exotic resort known to man... ' What? You're gonna say no? No! Anybody would do it.

"Plus, it's not like in the real world, where you could have sex with somebody, then never see them again," he continues. "You have to live with the person you hooked up with. So you can't just have random sex for sex's sake."

To make matters worse, the tattooed not-so-bad boy spent his entire stay bunking with drama queen Toni, the bug-eyed female Hulk from the network's sunken reality series, Love Cruise. "She is superemotional," he acknowledges. "But we were so laid back together that there was never any of that high-intensity [Sturm und Drang]. She'd come to me and be like, 'Andon, I'm freaked out about this and that,' and I was a lot less emotional, so I could always say, 'Toni, you're starting to freak me out. Seriously, chill out.'"

Lest there be any doubt, Andon's not complaining about acting as Toni's human Prozac. Having checked out Hotel's other bodacious babes, he was perfectly happy with his bathroom buddy. "If I could've chosen my same roommate [last week], I would've," he insists. "To tell you the honest to God truth, I wasn't extremely attracted to anybody. A lot of the girls' attitudes really turned me off. And Charla and Kristin? Let's put it this way — they aren't exactly the brightest lightbulbs in the bunch."