Question: Yay! You have a new column! I'm so excited! I love your "Entertainment News" and read it every day religiously. In fact, I love you so much, that if I ever meet you, I promise to run into the nearest store and buy you a case of Diet Raspberry Snapple. The 12-pack! — Sara

Ausiello: Please remember to check the freshness date, Sara. After five months on the shelf, Diet Snapple tastes like it's made from the worst stuff on earth. Trust me when I say there's nothing more heinous than outdated Diet Raspberry Snapple. And this comes from someone who's seen the Center of the Universe pilot.