Question: You poke fun at a lot of celebrities. Besides hate e-mail from their fans, do the celebrities themselves ever respond to you? — Amanda

Ausiello: Funny you should ask, Amanda. Last week, a TV Guide staffer in Los Angeles informed me that some dude named "August" left her a voicemail message looking for me. She passed his phone number on to me and, fearing that he was a hit man hired by Courtney Love, Mischa Barton, Elisabeth Rohm or Jai Rodriguez, I begged my fearless colleague, Angel Cohn, to pose as my assistant and find out what the heck he wanted. Turns out, "August" was none other than August Caimi, the star of Fox's forthcoming reality spoof My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss — the same guy I jokingly described as a "Red Lobster Waiter" in my column last Wednesday. Apparently, he read the item and wanted to have a "friendly chat" about it. So, to answer your question, Amanda, no, celebrities rarely come after me.