Question: A major character is going to get whacked on Desperate Housewives? Who, Michael, who? For the love of all that is holy this had better not turn out like that huge tease Melrose Place had years back when they promised two people on the show would die and it was a plumber and someone no one gave a crap about. Any clues? Please, please please? I'm begging you, Michael. I must know! — Poodle McClure

Ausiello: ABC has sworn me to secrecy about which Wisterian is getting offed later this month. But I suppose I could drop a teensy clue. (Warning: spoiler alert!) It's not — I repeat, it's not — Susan. ABC's gonna kill me. In related news, I think I just answered my first question from a drag queen.