Question: I'm a guy who ...

Question: I'm a guy who married a great woman this May. How great? She — yes, she — suggested we get married in matching, personalized Red Sox jerseys. I'm sure this is why they won the World Series. Anyway, in addition to all of the other stuff that she so rightly deserves for Christmas, I'd love to add the Playing It Straight cards as a stocking stuffer for her. Do you still have them? If so, I can dig up some old Smurf stuff for trade. Thanks — Chris Romeo

Ausiello: I received many heartfelt requests (OK, three) for this particular piece of swag after mentioning it in a recent "Ask Ausiello," but this one was by far my favorite. There's nothing more romantic than a straight dude begging for a deck of gay cards to give to his wife for Christmas. Chris, the cards are in the mail, buddy. And no need to dig up your old Smurf stuff — unless you possess Smurf with Christmas Wreath #51906. That I'll take. Speaking of which, I'd like to interrupt this portion of "Ask Ausiello" to thank Laura Perryman for the neat Brainy Smurf animation cell she sent me. It's hanging in my cubicle right next to Kermit and a photo of Matt Leinart holding his new Heisman Trophy. Fight on, Trojans! Beat the Sooners!