Question: So the question we're all dying to know the answer to: Did you get tickets to tonight's big game?
Answer: Nope, like most of you, I'll be watching my alma mater annihilate the Longhorns from the comfort of my Jennifer Convertible. It's probably just as well, especially in light of how recognizable I've become. I get way too emotional during these games to the point of embarrassment. After I witnessed USC beat Notre Dame in October, I hugged the guy sitting in front of me and then proceeded to weep uncontrollably in his arms. And what happened next, well, let's just say that it's a good thing they ban the use of camcorders at Notre Dame Stadium, and leave it at that.