Lindsay Lohan by Jamie McCarthy/ Lindsay Lohan by Jamie McCarthy/

This is nearly as ironic as good ol' "Personalities on Parade" saying that LiLo was committed to getting clean, in a story that ran mere days after her second DUI. (Gotta hate that long lead-time.) In an interview with the September Elle given before her first DUI scrape, Lindsay Lohan said it's "scary" living under the ever-watchful eye of a media "looking for me to, like, trip, so they can be like, 'Lindsay's wasted and driving drunk.'

"I'm much more responsible than that," the starlet fronted. "I would not do that." (To be fair, she may have meant "...only once.")

Lohan is now reportedly holed up in Utah's Cirque Lodge rehab facility, though her rep tells Us magazine that to confirm that buzz "would be counterproductive to the medical treatment she's receiving." As would be passing off two garage-door remotes and a strap of Velcro as a SCRAM bracelet.