After months of anticipation, Lady Gaga and Beyonce have finally released their full-length video for "Telephone" — all nine minutes and thirty seconds of penises, prison lesbians, and murder. Hide the kids!
The video begins with Gaga's wry commentary on speculation that she's a hermaphrodite. Two female cops rip her clothes off, throw her down on a prison cell cot and mutter, "I told you she didn't have a d--k."
From there, the crazy level kicks up about twenty notches as Gaga dances in a skimpy studded bikini through the prison halls, just prior to Beyonce bailing her out. The two go all sorts of Kill Bill on us as they jump in pick-up truck labeled "P---y Wagon" and arrive at a diner where they kill all the patrons —including Tyrese and a dog. They then ride off into the sunset hand-in-hand, Thelma & Louise style, before a "To Be Continued..." flashes across the screen. They also sing a little bit here and there.
Watch the video and weigh in on what you think in the poll bellow, as well as at the many gorgeous and grotesque looks of Lady Gaga (we're partial to the cigarette shades).
(WARNING: the following contains adult language, nudity, girl fights, sexual references, mass killings and blatant use of product placement that may or may not be mockery.)