Paris Hilton by Kevin Mazur/WireImage.com Paris Hilton by Kevin Mazur/WireImage.com

The Los Angeles County sheriff has launched an investigation into claims that Paris Hilton received (no!) special treatment during her 23-day jail stay. A sheriff's department spokesperson, promising, "We're going to... get to the bottom of it," tells the AP the internal probe (ooh, that's hot) will look into whether the heirhead:

" was given free access to a cordless phone instead of being forced to wait in line for a pay phone
" was furnished a new jail uniform instead of the recycled togs typically given to inmates
" had her mail delivered by a hunky jail captain instead of inmate trusties.

You'd think this investigation could be wrapped up by the time I finish typing this, no?