On Nov. 27 and 29, Fox will air a two-part special titled [ Insert shudder here] O.J. Simpson : If I Did It, Here's How It Happened. Over the course of the two hours, the former footballer reveals to publisher Judith Regan (who, not coincidentally, is putting out his If I Did It book later this month) how he killed ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. Oops, I mean how he would have killed them. "This is... the definitive last chapter in the Trial of the Century," says Mike Darnell, Fox's executive vice president of alternative programming. All together now: Ewww!

Wednesday's Today's News column was written by Ben Katner.