Has life on Wisteria Lane taught Marcia Cross nothing? According to the New York Daily News, the Desperate Housewives star recently chucked some old photos of her in the buff out with the trash. When an employee of the firm hired to cart away the refuse then discovered the hot shots, his company retained notorious nudies-peddler David Hans Schmidt to hawk the images to the highest bidder. "There are some pictures of her showering outside, and yes, the carpet does match the curtains," reports Schmidt, securing his reputation as the classiest of class acts. Cross is claiming that the photos were thrown out by mistake, and, as such, must be returned to her. Good luck with that, sister.

Monday's Today's News was written by Ben Katner.