Season 7 of New Girl will pick up about three years after the events of Season 6 with an episode called, uh, "About Three Years Later," where we'll catch up with what everybody's been up to since we last saw them. Jess (Zooey Deschanel) and Nick (Jake Johnson) have been traveling the world promoting Nick's book, Winston (Lamorne Morris) and Aly (Nasim Pedrad) got married and are expecting their first child and Schmidt (Max Greenfield) grew a mustache.
It's unsettling to see Schmidt with a mustache (and just a mustache at that — not even a goatee, which would be marginally less upsetting...maybe), and Nick is the audience surrogate who can't look away from the abomination on Schmidt's upper lip. And then when Schmidt starts rubbing mayonnaisey sunscreen directly into it, Nick is hypnotized with horror.
"Your mustache is disgusting," he tells his caterpillar-faced friend when he snaps out of it. It devolves into a slap fight as Nick tries to stop Schmidt from rubbing the sunscreen in.
"If you hate my mustache, sir, then you hate me," Schmidt says.
"That's not true, I just don't like the mustache!" squawks Nick. "It never would have happened if I was here! It never would have happened!" Sounds like Nick's having a little ROHMO (Regret Of Having Missed Out) he's going to have to work through.
Rub every moment like this in while you can, because this is New Girl's final run of episodes.
New Girl's seventh and final season premieres Tuesday, April 10 at 9:30/8:30c on Fox.