Question: We need to start campaigning for Kelly Bishop's Emmy nod early. I'm hoping you can do some publicity by giving up Snapple until she gets her nod.

Answer: That won't work. To have any sort of impact, you have to do something that'll completely paralyze the TV industry. I suppose I could have an AA-chip installed on Emmy voters' computers until they bend to my will and do the right thing, but that could prove costly. Hey, how 'bout we bribe someone at Deloitte & Touche? Anyone got any contacts there?