The calendar may say February, but it might as well be Halloween with all the ghosts on TV this week. Jay Leno and David Letterman revisit their tortured past, Hiro mourns his lost-in-time love on Heroes, The Good Wife's cheating husband has come home to roost, Claire returns on Lost and the specter of Paula Abdul is straight-up haunting American Idol's Hollywood Week. Welcome to Top Moments: Ghosts of TV Past Edition.
13. Best Casting: David Letterman and Oprah Winfrey have always had flirty chemistry, so it was fun to see them together in a Late Show promo that airs during the Super Bowl. But how many corporate mediators did they have to have on-set when Jay Leno sidled up on the sofa with them? It was uncomfortable in the best possible way.
12. Saddest Reunion: On Heroes season (series?) finale, Hiro finally reunites with the "lost in time" love of his life, Charlie. There's just one catch: Charlie is now a grandma. The moment had its touching qualities — K Callan's striking resemblance to Jayma Mays didn't hurt — but we're guessing this resolution had more to do with Mays' Glee schedule than the show's desire to give Hiro a heartstring-tugging, (un)happy ending.
11. Worst Timing: The Bachelor front-runner Ali leaves the show to save her job, creating the first episode ever without a rose ceremony. Her exit doesn't exactly mean the end of Jake and Ali just yet, and fortunately the episode was still chock-full of the delicious tears that feed our voyeuristic, black-hearted souls.
10. Best Double-Cross: Sissy Spacek began her guest turn on Big Love by playing Marilyn Densham as a lobbyist who works hard for truly worthy causes. Surprise! This Beltway barracuda is actually a back-stabber. Bill wins his party's nomination, but to what lengths will Marilyn go to make sure she gets the "pound of flesh" she believes she's now owed?
9. Best Plot Twist (Part I): The Good Wife begins an exciting new chapter as Peter returns home. Will Alicia be able to truly reconcile with her philandering jailbird husband? We have no idea, but the twist only adds to the texture of the already strong legal drama.
8. Most Monumental Development: In this week's Cuddy-centric episode of House, the ever-miserable Dr. House actually cracks a smile when Cuddy succesfully negotiates a new contract with an insurance company.
7. Most Innovative Crime: When a body falls from the sky in an area with no skyscrapers, CSI: Miami's Horatio & Co. have to investigate the wild blue yonder as their crime scene. Ultimately, their fact-finding leads to a shooting that took place on a ship built for space tourism. It's no Battlestar Galactica airlocking, but it is a fun deviation from the typical TV killings.
6. Most Endearing Pair: The Office's Andy and Erin are the new Pam and Jim. Andy gives everyone in the office a Valentine's Day card, but only Erin's features a spray of Nard Dog's Roger Federer for Men cologne. ("It has pheromones in it," he explains.) The glacial, torturous courtship makes us swoon and cringe all at once.
5. Best Plot Twist (Part II): Pam Grier makes a big move in Smallville's "Absolute Justice" movie as she inducts the first member of Checkmate's "Suicide Squad" by shooting Icicle Jr. in, um, cold blood and welcomes Tess Mercer (dun-dun-DUN) as a Checkmate agent.
4. Most Nuanced Performance: HBO's Temple Grandin could have easily turned mawkish when the lead character shout-sings "You'll Never Walk Alone" to fellow graduating college students, many of whom once mocked her autism. But like the real Grandin, Claire Danes never strives for cheap sentiment. Her portrayal of Grandin as "different, not less" is just one reason the film works as smoothly as one of Grandin's inventions.
3. Most Dated: What year is it, anyway? On Jay Leno's final primetime show, he marks his departure from the 10 o'clock slot by having Donald Trump show up to "fire" him. Later, guest Ashton Kutcher jokes that NBC's late-night debacle was all an elaborate prank from Punk'd. The dated jokes are oddly apropos for a comic often dismissed as the opposite of current.
2. Most Intriguing Return: Claire is back on Lost, and with her comes a freighter full of unanswered questions: Where has she been for three years? Is she alive or dead? Why does she remind us so much of Danielle Rousseau? And most importantly, is she destined for Danielle's same sad fate?
1. Best Upstaging: Ellen DeGeneres makes her American Idol debut, but somehow, we're still talking about Paula Abdul. Andrew Garcia's fantastic acoustic version of "Straight Up" even inspires Ellen to impersonate Paula's overhead handclap. Oh, and welcome, Ellen!