Our top moments of the week:
13. Biggest Disappointment: In the midst of a lackluster final season, Dexterreveals that the identity of the season-long villain, The Brain Surgeon, is Vogel's son ... whom no one cares about. This is almost as bad as when we learned that Edward James Olmos was a figment of Colin Hanks' imagination in Season 6. Anticlimactic much?
12. Sauciest Critique: Modern Familystar Jesse Tyler Ferguson never fails to brighten the So You Think You Can Dancejudges' panel with his cheeky wit and genuine fanboy fawning. In his latest visit, he vows to wear leather pants again, bashfully admits to a crush on hunky contestant Aaron and declares that Fik-Shun's solo undid the memory of Miley Cyrus' VMAs antics. His best quote of the night? When he playfully disses a previous guest judge and says, "I'll keep this Carly Rae Jepsen-short: That was amazing!"
11. High and Mighty Award: Although The Newsroom finally shows Jerry Dantana getting fired for doctoring an interview in his Genoa story, the story is still full of holes. So many, in fact, that Mack, Charlie and Will agree there was an "institutional failure" and hand in their resignations. To their surprise, Leona, who was stoned after paying $1,000 to (not) party with Daniel Craig, refuses to accept them. "We don't have the trust of the public," Charlie pleads. "Well, get it back!" Leona demands. What exactly was she smoking?
10. Sweetest Victory: On the grueling season finale of Get Out Alive with Bear Grylls, the three remaining teams endure a waterlogged rainforest, rushing river and soaked undergarments. Nevertheless, father-daughter team Lucky and Louie remain chipper and even sing as water drips into their every crevice. Perhaps it's this buoyant attitude that keeps their raft afloat, and it's definitely what sways Grylls to declare them the winners and hand them half a million dollars. Now Louie can buy herself a lifetime supply of jaunty bows!
9. Biggest Heartbreak: After trying (and failing) to keep their love lives and their spy lives separate on Covert Affairs, Annie and Auggie have "the talk" and come to the conclusion that they can't be good at their jobs and good at their relationship. "So is that it? Is this ... it?" Annie asks Auggie as she begins to cry. We spy a big pint of Ben & Jerry's and a rom-com marathon in her future. Tear!
8. You Really Shouldn't Have Award: Less than an hour before Jim and Callie are supposed to — finally! — get married on The Glades, Jim gets a very unexpected and unwelcome mystery visitor, who shoots him and leaves him bleeding out on the floor in his dress shirt and pants and everything. Turns out there is something worse than getting cold feet an hour before tying the knot: Cold blood!
7. Most Overdue Exit: Things between Real Housewives of Orange County star Vicki Gunvalson and Brooks finally come to a head on Part 3 of the reunion special when her daughter, Briana, accuses Brooks of telling her husband to hit her. Although Vicki still isn't sure if she should leave Brooks, he makes it easy on her. He hugs Vicki, tells her he loves her and then walks out, leaving her behind to sob into Alexis' arms. Breaking up is hard to do — especially when it happens on national television!
6. Most Shocking Reveal, Part I: On The Bridge this week, Marco and Sonya realize that the killer is presumed-dead FBI agent David Tate, who's been using the alias Kenneth Hastings and — gasp! — is also the co-worker having an affair with Alma, Marco's wife. The long and the short of it? Marco had an affair with David's wife when they were working together years ago, and the endgame of Tate's demented plan — which included a gruesome throat-slitting in this week's episode — is to get revenge on Marco. Look out, Alma!
5. Most Shocking Reveal, Part II: Ezra is "A"! Or, at the very least, a member of the A-Team. Either way, fans learn the hard way that Aria's sweet, stand-up ex-boyfriend is up to no good on the Pretty Little Liars season finale. Could he have been using her this whole time to get to Ali (who apparently is alive)? Excuse us for a minute while we pick up the pieces of our heart, because it is broken!
4. Shortest Performance: Following days of hype, 'N Sync reunites at the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards during Justin Timberlake's extended performance. However, instead of doing several of their biggest hits, JC, Lance, Joey and Chris — sans his signature dreads — pop up to sing half a verse of "Girlfriend" and "Gone" and most of "Bye, Bye, Bye" before they are quickly dismissed. We don't know what a bigger injustice is: that they only reunited for two lousy minutes or that they didn't even do their signature hand moves during "Bye, Bye, Bye." #reunionfail.
3. Most Traumatic Performance: The most unforgettable — and not in a good way — moment of the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards comes when Miley Cyrus decides to remind the world for the 436th time that she is no longer a kid. During her performance of "We Can't Stop," she rubs her crotch several times (and from several angles), twerks repeatedly on Robin Thicke and a bunch of giant teddy bears, and robs an innocent foam finger of all its virtue — all while wearing nothing more than nude-colored bra and panties. So should we forward our therapy bills to MTV/Viacom or Billy Ray?
2. Fired Up Award: And here we thought Walt's faux confession tape incriminating Hank as Heisenberg on Breaking Bad would be hard to top. After Jesse — whom Walt had just convinced to leave town and start anew — realizes that Saul & Co. had lifted the ricin cigarette off of him to ostensibly poison Brock in Season 4, he beats Saul to a pulp and holds him at gunpoint until he confesses that he did it on Walt's orders. Jesse then breaks into an empty White house — not to shoot anyone, but to douse the home with a huge jug of gasoline. Now that's burning rage.
1. Best Entrance: Bill Murray goes all out when he returns to Late Show with David Letterman to help ring in the show's 20th anniversary. In a scene that seems straight out of HBO's Behind the Candelabra, a large white vintage luxury car drives onto the stage, and a cute young chauffeur emerges with Murray, who is decked out in his Liberace-esque finest: a white, glittery pantsuit framed by a fur-trimmed white coat, and a small fluffy dog. "I had to get something that went with this outfit," Murray says nonchalantly. Where's a grand piano when you need one?
What were your top moments?