Question: Michael! We must do something about your appearance, young man! First let's get some pancake on that forehead so it doesn't shine like a hubcap. Then let's make sure your head is tilted up slightly when on camera or photographed; your eyebrows disappear into your haunting eyes. Speaking of eyebrows, get 'em thinned out they're scary! And one more thing: teeth! Unless you don't have any, all smiles contain teeth! Now go back to being funny.

Answer: Can we at least agree that I have a nice set of cheekbones?