Meat Loaf Will Fix Your Website

Meat Loaf would do anything for SEO, but he won't do that.  On a conference call with reporters to promote his upcoming guest appearance on House (Monday, 9 pm/ET, Fox), TVGuide.com listened in as the Loaf schooled one scribe on the value of search-engine optimization. What follows is a verbatim transcript of the exchange between the rocker-actor and Troy Rogers of Thedeadbolt.com, along with our (very loose) translations of Meat Loaf's website wisdom.
T. Rogers: Hello, Meat Loaf.
Meat Loaf: I saw that on a list yesterday — Deadbolt.com. What is Deadbolt.com? I have to go there when we finish.
T. Rogers: It's basically just an entertainment site — TV, film.
Translation: Brand is important. Make it memorable! I'm sure Deadbolt's great, but it sounds like a website for a locksmith, not an entertainment site!
Meat Loaf: I have my computer in case I needed names. [Checks on computer] No, you're not the budget locksmith.
T. Rogers: No, I'm not the locksmith. It's Thedeadbolt.com. Maybe that was why.
Meat Loaf: Thedeadbolt.com. There you go. Yes. That first thing that came up was a locksmith.
Translation: Rank well in Google! All your traffic is going to a budget locksmith!
T. Rogers: Yes, I've gotten that quite a bit, actually.
Meat Loaf: Well, that's still the first thing that comes up. You need to fix that with Google.
Translation: Pony up the cash and buy this guy out so you own both "Deadbolt.com" and "TheDeadbolt.com"!
T. Rogers: All right.
Meat Loaf: Now I'm on your homepage so I can see what it is. Cool. Great.
Translation: Meat Loaf is cool. And great.