Jiminy Glick Jiminy Glick

After spending much of his career as an obscure gossip columnist, Jiminy Glick burst on to the scene in 2000 making appearances on The Martin Short Show. He followed it up by hosting Comedy Central's Primetime Glick, where his unique style of interview and keen interest in banal minutiae brought audiences closer to their favorite stars. Now, he's the star, as Jiminy Glick in Lalawood gets its DVD release on Oct. 4. Recently TVGuide.com turned the tables on the rotund interviewer and put him in the hot seat. 

TVGuide.com: Jiminy Glick in Lalawood is framed as a movie within a faux David Lynch movie, a satire of such films as Mulholland Drive and Lost Highway. Are those your favorite Lynch films?
Jiminy Glick: I've never seen them.

TVGuide.com: Have you seen any of his films?
No. Not at all, but word gets back that they're very good.

TVGuide.com: Martin Short wrote Lalawood and you made numerous appearances on his show. How much do you credit him with helping your career?
Appearing on the show was a mercy mission. I had already been very hot in Hollywood because of my syndicated column, and Short needed me. Listen, Martin Short was someone who was interesting for about half an hour in the '80s. There's very little I have to say positive about that dude.

TVGuide.com: Jiminy is a rare name. Is it short for anything?
Jimithion. [Laughs] But seriously, my parents were spooning during a picnic, and while it was going on, a cricket went in to my father's "door marked exit." Nine months later, out came I and they named me after the little fellow.

TVGuide.com: So who's the better interviewer, you or James Lipton?
I think James Lipton is obsessed with listening, and that's a mistake.

TVGuide.com: Why is listening a mistake?
I think it's showing off. I like to ask a question and then, oftentimes, my mind will wander. When the person has stopped talking, I assume he's stopped his thought. If he hasn't, I don't care.

TVGuide.com: Do you have any advice for red-carpet interviewer Joan Rivers?
Keep it up. More of the same. If I had to speak to one more cast member of ER, I'd froth at the mouth. I don't know anyone. I don't know anyone who's out there, either. Lana Turner is the last actress I really knew. Now the kids are all grunge and they have attitude. But Joan is a wonderful spirit, and I think she's been brave in Hollywood. So many of these people are getting surgery, and Joan has just said, "I'm going to age naturally."

TVGuide.com: Do you find it hard to maintain a portly figure when there is such a focus on vanity in Hollywood?
It's terrible. I've struggled with it, because I love a bologna sandwich late at night. I have had liposuction once, but I went to a cheaper place — Al's Hospital and Grill. They got the hoses out and plugged them right into my backside. But unfortunately they used a hose that a gardener had used earlier and it had leaves in it. I ended up with Dutch elm disease of the ass.

TVGuide.com: That's horrible.
It is, but there's a cream for it. It doesn't bother me too much anymore, but it can act up depending on how I position myself.

TVGuide.com: Thanks, Jiminy. It's important that TVGuide.com makes its readers aware of these sorts of health concerns.
You're very welcome.