Mad TV's Stephnie: Weir and Wonderful

If there is a funnier woman on the tube than Mad TV star Stephnie Weir, we haven't seen her (and trust us — we watch everything!). In three years, the skitcom scene-stealer has built up a dazzling repertoire of freaks and geeks that can break your heart even as they make you bust a gut. So couch potatoes who don't yet know that her shtick's a treat should — no, must — make it a priority to catch the season finale Saturday at 11 pm/ET on Fox. At the very least, her dead-on Anna Nicole Smith impression will spare you the horror of checking out the merry widow's actual E! reality series. In the meantime, you can give yourself the giggles by listening in as TV Guide Online tries to interview the soft-spoken Texan without begging her to talk like harebrained towhead Dot or master thespian Dorothy Lanier.

TV Guide Online: Stephnie, you crack me the hell up. Where did you get your wacky sense of humor? Were you dropped on your head as a child?
Stephnie Weir: (Laughs) Not that anyone will admit to. (Pauses) I'm trying to think of any horrible accidents that may have caused this. My dad is a little demented, so maybe that's where I get it.

TVGO: Smart move — always blame the parents! Is one of your characters closer to your personality than the others?
Weir: (Pauses) Dot, probably. I'm a middle child, and I have a younger sister who is stunning — just beautiful and smart. So all of those [attributes] were taken. Usually, there's a pretty one and a smart one, and she's both. (Pauses) That sounds so much more pathetic than it is.

TVGO: If it helps, I think you're cute.
Weir: You know what — I am... until she shows up! Then, it's kind of like you see what I could have been. That sounds so [self-deprecating], and I don't mean it that way. I'm quite a lovely person, but... yeah, I was kind of able to play off of being the unnoticed child a little bit.

TVGO: You're certainly getting some attention now. In fact, after this article runs, you're sure to become the toast of Hollywood. Are you prepared for paparazzi to rummage through your garbage?
Weir: (Wistfully) Someday... oh, someday. I have a little house in Burbank, and I'm just dying for someone to spot me. I leave my trash out in front of my house, hoping... and my windows open.

TVGO: Any chance that we'll be seeing Prehistoric Glamazon Huntress A.D.: The Movie someday?
Weir: I don't know. Characters like that do really well in a five-minute scene — and even that's pressing it sometimes — but an hour and a half feels a little too scary. Many people have done really well pulling their characters out; I think Wayne's World really hit the mark. But I don't know [about doing that myself].

TVGO: Suuure. At least until a producer comes along and offers you a million bucks to give him 90 minutes of Dot.
Weir: (Laughs) The purist in me hopes I would say [&#224 la Dorothy], "Nooo!" But I would never be so bold as to say [as if I were offended], "Absolutely not!" We'll see. [Talking about your goals is] always hard, because you have no idea where this profession will guide you. You just have to be willing to go where it takes you. The possibility of someone offering me millions of dollars to do Dot for an hour and a half wasn't No. 1 on my list of things to do, but it could be the thing I love most in my life. You never know.