3:54: Oooh, they're handing out free boxes of popcorn at the entrance. Thank you, ABC! Now I
know I'm going to love your pilots!
3:59: How excited am I about the popcorn? I'm not even bitter that they stuck me in the nosebleed section.
4:01: The downside of popcorn? Popcorn breath. Everyone around me has it. Good thing I stopped for Tic Tacs.
4:03: Showtime!!!
4:05: Boring exec talks about cross-platforming. A dark cloud of popcorn breath is forming over the stage here at Lincoln Center. I think someone in the orchestra seats just passed out from the stench.
4:16: OMG, I'm literally getting a nosebleed!!!!!! Just kidding. I'm just bored.
4:20: It's obligatory clip time! All of the best moments from the past season compiled into a neat little trailer. My favorite part. Seriously.
4:25: ABC president Steve McPherson (aka The Headliner) takes the stage. Last year he performed a show-stopping jig, à la
Dancing with the Stars. How
will he top himself?
4:26: OMG! It's the cast of
Ugly Betty performing a showtune, live on stage!
4:32: It's a full-on Broadway production number with the
Betty cast, but mostly built around
Mark Indelicato and
America Ferrera - it's awesome!!! They're singing "One" from
Chorus Line with
Betty-ized lyrics!
4:36: New show clips. First up,
Sam I Am with
Christina Applegate. Looks promising.
4:38: Carpoolers looks "eh." I laughed once. Well, it was a half laugh.
4:40: Miss/Guided costars Luke's daughter April! How'd I not know that? Show looks fun.
4:43: OK. Not even free popcorn can get me to say something nice about
Cavemen.
4:46: Jimmy Kimmel's testing out some new material. I love this guy, especially when he makes fun of his own network.
4:50: He says
Rosie is leaving
The View to "declare herself eligible for the NFL draft." That gets a huge laugh.
4:51: Ooooh, he just took a shot at
Katie Couric, joking that CBS will follow
Lost's lead and set an end date for her. Low blow! I love it!
4:55: ABC is showing clips for its new reality shows, and the crowd reacts with horror when the title of the new
Biggest Loser-for-kids show pops up on the screen:
Fat March. Methinks that's gonna change in the next 24 hours.
4:57: Brothers & Sisters gets its
own fancy trailer!
5:00: The cast is in the house!
Emily VanCamp is taller than
Rob Lowe!
5:01: OK, this is genius. ABC is playing an awards show-type video montage of all the ABC characters who died this season. It features everyone from Denny on
Grey's to Jerry Springer on
Dancing with the Stars. High-sterical.
5:03: Neat-o! Special musical guest - The Fray!
5:05: Back to clips of the new shows, starting with a little show called
Pushing Daisies!
5:07: Good, it's not just me, the audience is eating this show up!
5:09: Private Practice is up now. Funny thing: The show is much more palatable when condensed down to a three-minute trailer.
5:13: Greg Berlanti's lawyer-as-prophet drama
Eli Stone looks predictably solid.
5:15: Darren Star's soapy
Cashmere Mafia looks predictably like a
Sex and the City clone.
5:20: Dirty Sexy Money is essentially
Brothers & Sisters on crack.
5:23: Women's Murder Club is
Sex and the City meets
CSI, starring
Law & Order's best ADA ever, Angie Harmon. Sadly, I'm underwhelmed.
5:26: Big Shots is
Sex and the City but with guys, and these
guys have last names like Vartan, Titus and McDermott. Awesome cast, so-so trailer.
5:30: Stephen McPherson comes back onstage and brags about having seen next week's two-hour
Lost finale. Yeah, well, I've already seen the first three episodes of
next season! Top that, McPherson!
5:34: We're playing Bingo with the host of ABC's
National Bingo Night! The prize: a flat-screen TV! OK, if I win this thing,
Cavemen's getting a
rave review.
5:39: Damn, someone in the orchestra won. Good seats
and a flat-screen TV. Bastard.
5:42: OMG, confetti! And a marching band! And flag twirlers! Best. Upfront. Presentation.
Ever.
5:43: I'm off to the ABC party to get you scoop for tomorrow's AA!
(For more upfront coverage, check out TVGuide.com's
First Look: Hottest Fall TV blog.)