Question: Kevin Eubanks won? What? I think you should demand a recount.
Answer: My legal team is en route to PETA's Norfolk, Virginia, headquarters armed with a subpoena. My advice to Eubanks: Hold off on that victory celebration. This thing ain't over, not by a long shot.
That's all for this week, folks! Head on over to the Ask Ausiello Discussion Thread to chat about this week's column. Also, check out the latest installment of my Ausiello Report vodcast to see which Big Love actor dropped by our studio. And don't forget to send questions/hot tips/GG swag guesses to email@example.com. See you back here next week! Additional reporting by Dani Dornfeld