Question: So, where did you land on this year's Sexiest Vegetarians competition? I voted for you many times.

Answer: Yeah, well, all your hard work was for naught. The results were released yesterday and I finished fourth behind Kevin Eubanks, Milo Ventimiglia and Joaquin Phoenix. At the risk of sounding like a sore loser, Eubanks only won because of Jay Leno's endless Tonight Show plugs. I could've easily gone that route with my vast media empire, but, honestly, that kind of shameless shilling is beneath my dignity.