Kelly McGillis Kelly McGillis

Top Gun star Kelly McGillis says she "tried super hard" to hide that she is a lesbian from the public and herself before coming out last month.

"I tried really hard not to be who I am. I tried super hard," she tells People. "It was a difficult journey for me to come to terms and be whole and happy with who I am."

McGillis, who's been divorced twice and is a mother of two, says the "moment of truth" came when asked what kind of companion she wanted — a man or a woman. "I thought, Hmm, do I say the truth, or do I just say, 'It's none of your business,' which is my standard answer?" she says. "I said, 'You know, I'm just going to say the truth."

The actress went on a cruise after coming out and says she was taken aback by the buzz her revelation drew, thinking the news would "disappear."

Currently single, McGillis says she's not looking for a relationship, choosing rather to focus on her career. She returns to acting in the play The Little Foxes, which opens Friday in Pasadena, Calif.

"I was with somebody for eight years, and I just want to be single," she says. "I have such cool friends, and such a cool life. I don't know what God's plan is for me at all, I just know I'm so happy to be here and happy to be working."

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