Kathy Griffin Kathy Griffin

Kathy Griffin's televised skewering of the royal wedding, Kathy Griffin's Insightful and Hilarious Take on the Royal Wedding, will air the same day as the nuptials, Friday, April 29, at 8/7c on the TV Guide Network. The self-appointed Princess of Inappropriate took a few minutes to fill us in on the dressed-down vibe of her Take, the expert panel that will accompany her and why Prince William's male-pattern baldness does nothing to thwart his hotness.

The title of your special, Kathy Griffin's Insightful and Hilarious Take on the Royal Wedding, is extremely straightforward.
Kathy Griffin: It's very important that people know what they're getting. With the deluge of coverage, which has already started, I already think people are taking it too seriously. Now, I'm not Kate Middleton, who probably thinks you can't take it seriously enough, but I am Kate Griffin. I feel that you should be able to take the piss out of everything and make fun of everyone. I thought it was really important for us to come out and say, "This is your destination to talk smack, have fun and say God only knows what. No holds barred." In fact, I really like the idea of doing it in sweats and a T-shirt. I think on all the other shows, people will be dolled up, wearing tiaras, but the majority of viewers will be watching in their pajamas or sweats. And that's the whole point: we're you, the viewer. If I could make my eyes bloodshot, I would ... although they probably will be.

Watch the royal wedding here

Your turnaround is very tight, with the wedding airing that morning and your special going on the air that night. Are you worried about that?
Griffin: It's not tight enough for my taste. I wish they would let me do it live, but they are reticent to let me do it live, based on my history. I'm not worried about the turnaround at all — I wish it were shorter. I want to give TV Guide as little time as possible to run things past standards and practices and do any kind of censoring or editing.

When you say, "We're you," does that mean you feel like you experience the royal wedding like the average American?
Griffin: I think that the way I see the royals has a lot in common with typical American viewers. I'm a little befuddled by them, but I'm fascinated. What I think is the most entertaining is that we keep trying to figure out who our royalty is. It was the Kennedys, then it was Brangelina, now it's Snooki and the Situation and the Kardashians. And then you watch some awards show and you realize that our true royalty is Meryl Streep and Robert De Niro or something. God forbid, our royalty would be people who actually accomplish things, like President Carter or people who start great organizations that help people. 

VIDEO: Kathy Griffin on Kathy Griffin's Insightful and Hilarious Take on the Royal Wedding

We know about your crush on Prince Harry...
Griffin: And, by the way, I'm not proud of the fact that that's not very original. Every gay guy, including myself, has a crush on him, but I feel as a fellow ginger, we have a connection. I think William is hot, too. The gays have got to back off because he's losing his hair a little bit. That's not his fault and it's not fair to make fun of someone if something's happening to them that isn't their fault. That's kind of my rule.

I think the issue has less to do with him losing his hair and more to do with him not doing anything flattering about the fact.
Griffin: So you think he should get the infomercial spray paint and some gel and that would be the game-changer.

I want Prince William in a long, flowing lace-front wig.
Griffin: Well, call John Travolta.

What time is the royal wedding?

Are you preparing a cram session to get all this royals stuff straight for your special?
Griffin: Absolutely. A major cram session, but also, my panel is fantastic. First of all, I have two heterosexuals ...

Heterosexual men?
Griffin: Heterosexual men.

Helen Mirren doesn't plan to watch the royal wedding

Wow. Why don't you run down the panel for me real quick?
Griffin: We have the Sklar Brothers, Jason and Randy Sklar. They're a comedy team and they're twins. They're very, very funny. They're my resident heterosexuals. Then I have a great writer-producer named Jack Gray, who's kind of like a David Sedaris-type. He works at CNN, so he's going to bring the cred. And then, we have our resident Brit, and that is Jackie Collins, who has enough f--- you money to not give a s--- about what she says about anything. That's key: you need a real Brit that will say and do anything.

It's perfect that you and Jackie both sat on the panel of RuPaul's Drag Race last season, and now you're doing this.
Griffin: Well, that's no accident. 

VIDEO: Relive Diana's royal wedding flub

Joan Rivers is also hosting a special on the wedding. Is this one more example of friendly competition between you two?
Griffin: Oh no. We discussed it. I'm sure Joan's going to look glamorous and be wearing couture. Don't be fooled: Joan's high class. She runs with a crowd that I never did. We're gonna be the ones in sweats and PJs and she'll be the one knowing all the fashion stuff. I really believe there's room for everybody. I like that there are multiple comedy destinations. I really think that the majority of people think that there's an aspect of this that is pure comedy.

Watch TV Guide Network's Kathy Griffin's Insightful and Hilarious Take on the Royal Wedding on Friday, April 29 at 8/7c.