Question: I just watched the Battlestar Galactica premiere, and holy frak! I can't believe how much I missed this show! Please give us some scoop on what's coming next.

Answer: I honestly can't even remember. It's been, like, six weeks since I took in the first four episodes, and the only thing I recall is the illicit kiss between Roslin and ****** in Episode 4. Luckily, AA intern Scott Sode just finished watching Episodes 2 through 4 at his desk (Best. Internship. Ever.) and filed this report: "It's all about the babies on BSG. Sharon's daughter will fall into the wrong hands, and Casey will give Starbuck some killer maternal instincts. Also, the rescue mission to save the people on New Caprica will go into effect, and Apollo will get off his 'fat ass' and do something about it." OK, Scott, get back to "work."