Jersey Shore Jersey Shore

When it comes to the Jersey Shore gang, it's tough to distinguish between right and wrong, who we like and who we don't. Check out our breakdown of each cast member and what we thought about them — well, at least this week.

Snooki, The Brand: Jersey Shore star strikes licensing deal  

For her: We give her a lot of credit for keeping an open mind and trying to play nice with Sammi. And she lived up to her self-assigned moniker "blast in glass" when she gives the Situation a free show of her lady parts when she "accidentally" pulls down her bikini bottom. Whoops!
Against her: Granted, she was beyond trashed, but she was still a bit mouthy for a newbie. But Deena's worst offense of the night was offering to share her vibrator with J-Woww and Snooki. Really?
Verdict: Love her

For her: She's still an oasis of relative calm (when she's not brawling), no matter how drunk her housemates get. She's made some progress in the restraint department considering she just walked away when she first saw Sammi, but obviously that didn't last long (see below).
Against her: She managed to keep Sammi from getting under her skin for most of the first night, but somehow a screaming match between Snooki and Sammi sends her over the top, and she jumps in with a unnecessary (though thoroughly entertaining) left hook.
Verdict: Love her

For him: He exhibited his usual upbeat, likable persona. Plus, we love the fact that he unintentionally uses mobster-movie quotes in regular conversations. "Nice to meet you, welcome to the family," he tells Deena.
Against him: Nothing yet. It takes a lot to hate on Pauly.
Verdict: Love him

For him: For once, he actually stays with his girlfriend when she's upset about the situation in the house (pun intended) instead of boozing it up with MVP.
Against him: Not only does he ditch Sammi for her first post-Miami encounter with J-Woww by hiding in the bathroom, but he later slips into a fit of 'roid rage at a drunken Deena — who is about the size of one of his thighs. Not cool.
Verdict: Hate him

For her: She has not one redeeming quality this week.
Against her: Everything. Her attitude when Deena tried to make conversation was catty and pretentious. She and Ron take a three-bed room, oblivious to the poor soul who'd have to share with them. She refused to hang with the gang, but was quick to spy on them. She instigated Deena by laughing in her face. And we'll just stop there.
Verdict: Hate her

For him: It's not so much that we're pro-Sitch after this episode, but we just pity the poor bastard for getting stuck in the room with Ron and Sam.
Against him: He went from enjoying Deena's free show to telling Sammi and Ron how annoying he thinks she is to calling her Rookie of the Year for calling Sammi the C-word. Some consistency would be nice.
Verdict: As much as we hate to admit it, love him

For her:  She's reliable in the sense that whenever drunk, there she is in the hot tub slurring her words and trying to get some lovin'.
Against her: Yes, she may have lied when she told Ron his mom calls her weekly to complain about how much Sammi sucks, but you can't really blame her.
Verdict: Love her

For him: He refused to hook up with Snooki in the hot tub because he didn't want her to get the wrong idea. Plus, there's something endearing about a guy who owns a powder blue shower caddy — and a loofah!
Against him: He smushed Snooki's friend Ryder two weeks prior and tried to creep on Sookie's other BFF, new housemate Deena, on the first night (note the astute use of vocabulary from our Jersey Shore dictionary). Clearly Snooks is still hung up on the guy, so the least he can do is go for random chicks.
Verdict: Love him