"And I'm telling you.... " Eh, that joke's old. New intro:

Think those crazies auditioning for Idol this season have it rough? They don't know the half of what they're getting into, says alumna Jennifer Hudson. In the new issue of Essence, the Oscar nominee says, "On American Idol, you go through this mental thing.... You've been abused, misled and brainwashed to believe whatever they want you to think."

Idol, abusive? Once again, that's an excerpt from Essence and not "Duh! Magazine."