This, folks, is a cautionary tale about what happens when you put a Grammys producer in charge: The 57th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards, airing Sept. 18 on CBS, will feature actors performing classic TV theme songs throughout the telecast. At the end of the show, a winner (determined by viewer votes) will be declared the "Emmy Idol." The playlist includes The Apprentice's Donald Trump and Will & Grace's Megan Mullally doing Green Acres (OK, that could be fun); Boston Legal's William Shatner and opera star Frederica von Stade channeling Star Trek (There are lyrics? I'm scared); Veronica Mars' Kristen Bell taking on Fame; and CSI's Gary Dourdan performing "Movin' on Up" (from The Jeffersons) with Macy Gray. Additionally, the Black Eyed Peas will perform during an opening montage with Earth, Wind & Fire. What all this means is there will be no time for any acceptance speeches. Not a one.