My Emmy Predictions!

Yes, this year's Emmy nominations make about as much sense as Desperate Housewives' Betty Applegate mystery. Chris Meloni instead of Hugh Laurie? Allison Janney instead of Edie Falco? Stockard Channing instead of Lauren Graham? Alfre Woodard instead of... anyone? But a funny thing happened after I worked through my anger, frustration and general sense of hopelessness: I took another look at the list and discovered, much to my surprise, that members of the blue-ribbon panel weren't completely stoned when they made their selections. Lost amid all the head-scratchers are some truly worthy nominees. In other words, this year's race is salvageable - provided, of course, that the right people win. Who are these "right people" I speak of? They're listed below, followed by my predictions for who will take home the gold on Aug. 27. Feel free to crib the info for your office pool. Not to boast, but history has proven that I'm usually spot-on about this stuff.
OUTSTANDING DRAMA SERIES
Grey's Anatomy; House; The Sopranos; 24; The West Wing
Who should win: Grey's. No drama was more consistently entertaining. (OK, Battlestar Galactica was better, but those frakked-up Emmy voters didn't even calm down, Michael. Breathe. You worked through this already, remember?)
Who will win: Grey's will take it, provided West Wing doesn't pull a late-term upset. And I'm talking "upset" in the true sense of the word.
OUSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
Christopher Meloni, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit; Denis Leary, Rescue Me; Peter Krause, Six Feet Under; Kiefer Sutherland, 24; Martin Sheen, The West Wing
Who should win: Leary. If for no other reason than to hear his [bleepin'] acceptance speech.
Who will win: Leary. If he submits the episode in which his TV son dies - and he will - he can't be beat. SPOILER ALERT: Sheen has never won for WW; so this would be Emmy's last chance to hail the chief.
OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer; Geena Davis, Commander in Chief; Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit; Frances Conroy, Six Feet Under; Allison Janney, The West Wing
Who should win: Sedgwick. All right, I really want Mariska to win, but I'd be dishonest if I didn't say Kyra deserves it more. Eh, honesty is overrated - go, Mariska!
Who will win: Conroy. Six Feet really put her through the emotional wringer in its final season, and if Emmy voters love anything, it's good grief.
OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
William Shatner, Boston Legal; Oliver Platt, Huff; Michael Imperioli, The Sopranos; Gregory Itzin, 24; Alan Alda, The West Wing
Who should win: Itzin. As President Logan, Itzin went from bumbling idiot to bumbling baddie - all in the same day!
Who will win: Alda. If Emmy voters give WW only one parting gift, my bet is this will be it. Just a hunch.
OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
Candice Bergen, Boston Legal; Sandra Oh, Grey's Anatomy; Chandra Wilson, Grey's Anatomy; Blythe Danner, Huff; Jean Smart, 24
Who should win: Wilson. You think I'm going to tell Bailey otherwise?
Who will win: Smart. Emmy voters are suckers for a good old-fashioned comeback story, and Smart staged a glorious one as 24's nut-job-turned-heroine of a first lady.
OUTSTANDING COMEDY SERIES
Arrested Development; Curb Your Enthusiasm; The Office; Scrubs; Two and a Half Men
Who should win: Scrubs. Those kooks at Sacred Heart hit an all-new, gloriously loopy creative high last season. A win here could make me forgive Emmy for Grahamgate. The operative word there being "could."
Who will win: Scrubs. Call me kooky, but I really think this is the show's year. I said call me kooky, not that.
OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm; Kevin James, The King of Queens; Tony Shalhoub, Monk; Steve Carell, The Office; Charlie Sheen, Two and a Half Men
Who should win: Carell. I'd pay money to see Sheen dis Denise at the dais, but even a fair-weather Office fan like myself can't deny that Carell has done Ricky Gervais proud.
Who will win: Carell. Unless, of course, Kevin James... I'm kidding. (I better be kidding.)
OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Lisa Kudrow, The Comeback; Jane Kaczmarek, Malcolm in the Middle; Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures of Old Christine; Stockard Channing, Out of Practice; Debra Messing, Will & Grace
Who should win: Kudrow. Her Comeback flopped, but Kudrow was an underrated hoot as D-list disaster Valerie Cherish. Anyone else winning in this category? I don't need to see that.
Who will win: Elaine, er, Louis-Dreyfus. I'm betting Emmy will want to applaud her for single-handedly breaking the Seinfeld curse.
OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Will Arnett, Arrested Development; Jeremy Piven, Entourage; Bryan Cranston, Malcolm in the Middle; Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men; Sean Hayes, Will & Grace
Who should win: Donald Faison, er, I mean Jeremy Piven. (Behave, Michael!) How could you not love such a huggable jackass? (I'm referring to Ari, not me.)
Who will win: Piven. Emmy needs to atone for not giving the statue to him last year.
OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Cheryl Hines, Curb Your Enthusiasm; Alfre Woodard, Desperate Housewives; Jaime Pressly, My Name Is Earl; Elizabeth Perkins, Weeds; Megan Mullally, Will & Grace
Who should win: Pressly. Who knew? Not me.
Who will win: Pressly. The safest bet of the race. No one else comes close.
OUTSTANDING REALITY-COMPETITION PROGRAM
The Amazing Race; American Idol; Dancing with the Stars; Project Runway; Survivor
Who should win: Project Runway. All the pleasure of a reality show with none of the guilt.
Who will win: The Amazing Race. Sure, the family edition was a fiasco, but CBS will likely submit episodes from the traditional spring cycle, thus ensuring the show its fourth consecutive victory - and another migraine for Mark Burnett.