Dumb and Dumber: LiLo Puts the Blame on Her Own Alleged Kidnap Victim

According to TMZ.com, Lindsay's latest drunk-driving escapade began at a party to which she invited her assistant's boyfriend and three of his pals. The assistant was apparently fighting with her boyfriend, which sparked a fight between her and Lindz, which prompted the flunky to quit on La Lohan, which totally pissed her off. So when the assistant split, Lohan, the guys say, took the boyfriend's place in the driver's seat of the GMC Denali they were waiting in and took them for a thrill ride they never asked to go on. When the police finally intervened, they say she told them, "The black kid was driving." Lord have mercy. No, seriously. Mercy. — Ben KatnerRelated: Martin Sheen's advice for Lohan's parents.