"That night, we had a show, and then afterwards, I had this moment of feeling like, 'What's the point? Why am I even here?'" Glover told the magazine. "I just wanted to write down my feelings. I definitely was just expressing myself."
"If I'm depressed, everybody's depressed," he adds, noting that he's happy that he vented. "I don't think those feelings are that different from what everybody's feeling. Most people just don't tell everybody."
After it was announced that Glover was leaving Community, many assumed it was so he could focus on his upcoming FX series and his rap career. "I didn't leave Community to rap. I don't wanna rap. I wanted to be on my own," Glover wrote in one of many handwritten messages posted to Instagram Sunday night, where he also shared a troubling list of fears and insecurities. "I've been sick this year. I've seen a bunch of people die this year. This is my first time I've felt helpless. But I'm not on that. Kept looking for something to be in with. Follow someone's blueprint. But you have to be on your own."
As of now, Glover is set to appear in five of Community's 13-episode fifth season. If the cult comedy is renewed, he won't return for Season 6. Glover is also set to develop and star in a music-themed comedy for FX tentatively titled Atlanta.
According to Instagram, Glover had hoped to release his latest album in December, but the label is resistant because "it's not a holiday album and he's not a big artist."