Those of you who just watch Dancing with the Stars to have a great time on Monday nights might not have noticed a strange pattern emerging in Season 27, but for those of us who literally make a career out of it... we're troubled as hell.
So far, only the female contestants on Dancing with the Stars have been sent home every week. That means we've got two ladies left in the competition — and six guys. That's right, not a single dude has been given the boot yet, which is frankly just unacceptable. First we lost Nikki Glaser, who admittedly didn't have a lot to work with in the dancing department. Next came Danelle Umstead's elimination, followed by Nancy McKeon and then Tinashe. Finally, Olympic gold medalist Mary Lou Retton went home this week, which was kind of the final nail in the coffin. What's with the lady-hating this year?!
The first few eliminations made more sense since all three women were scoring low and none of them were performing show-stopping numbers. Both Mary Lou and Tinashe, however, were pulling strong scores when they got eliminated, and Tinashe actually led the pack for most of her run on the show. However, the judges' votes only count for half of the elimination score, and the rest is up to voters, which is where this whole system kind of falls apart. What should be a dancing competition pretty quickly turns into a popularity contest, and anyone who's been the nerd in high school knows those things are seriously rigged.
The all-female eliminations are a bummer, but it wouldn't be such a hard pill to swallow if there weren't several male contestants who are... well, let's just say they're not exactly mirrorball material.
There are some talented men on the show this year — Juan Pablo di Pace and Milo Manheim can seriously shake it — but there are also a fair amount of guys that are still around even though they should have fallen far sooner in the competition. John Schneider, though incredibly endearing, has scored in the mediocre range and ended up in jeopardy once before. Grocery Store Joe has consistently scored the lowest of everyone on the show (and his pro has stopped trying to choreograph for him, instead just letting him just stand there while she dances around him), and yet both of these men have survived to Week 8?
The truth of the matter is that fan votes count for so much more than you'd probably like, and Bachelor Nation has shown up to save Joe time and again. As for John, we can only speculate that the Dukes of Hazzard fans are turning out for Dancing with the Stars, or his old-time southern charm resonates more with the key demo of the show. Maybe a combo of both?
As for the remaining women — we're officially worried.
Alexis Ren may be one of the best dancers on the show at this point, and her scores are nothing to turn your nose up at, but she's been in jeopardy three times already. As a social media model with nearly 13 million Instagram followers, you'd expect her votes to be higher, but it appears her fanbase just isn't interested in anything that doesn't show up in their Instagram feed. There's a possibility that her recent showmance with her partner will entice a few extra viewers to vote for her, but she's nowhere near safe.
The other lovely lady still in it to win it is Harry Potter's Evanna Lynch, who while incredibly passionate about dancing, is also kind of on the chopping block. She recently got her highest score ever on Halloween Night, but she's also been in jeopardy before. If the venn diagram of Harry Potter fans and Dancing with the Stars fans turns out to be just two separate circles, Evanna could also face elimination next week.
Regardless of who makes it out alive, with the way things are headed so far this season, there's a very real possibility that we'll be getting an all-male season finale. The top candidates (and top scorers) this season are all men, so unless the Evanna and Alexis outlive all the boys, we'll probably have to rule out a battle of the sexes match.
Dancing with the Stars airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.