First, let me just say that the visual effects people on Dancing with the Stars had way too much fun with that Las Vegas opening. But hey, if you can make fake dice roll across the stage, then you go for it, effects guys.
Tuesday was another night of eliminations, as 12 couples were tapered down to 11, but this time no one got to skate by and sit the night out. Every couple danced again, combining their scores from both nights to create a super score. Thanks to this super-scoring method, it became clear that a few couples were really pulling away from the crowd. But it also became clear that a certain someone was falling far, far behind.
Check out our full recap below to find out who shimmied for the final time this week.
The dance: Aaaand we're back to the sexy, steamy stuff for Juan Pablo. Thank the LORD. Like seriously, who wouldn't want to roll around on a couch with that guy? Sexiness aside, Juan Pablo mastered this choreography much easier than I expected him to. The two moments that stand out are the split kick off the couch at the beginning and the little tapper turns in the middle. Juan Pablo hasn't really stood out as a potential winner up until this point, but after this routine, I'm reevaluating.
What the judges said: "Juano Pablo, no probleeeemo," Len said, making me wonder who the hell scripted his feedback this week. But he practically ensured that Juan Pablo would be back next week with a performance like that, which is all that matters.
Rude, that number deserved at least one 10! You let me down, Carrie Ann.
The dance: OK, first let's just put aside how unfair it was to psych these guys out with a surprise shoutout from Celine Dion. They knew Milo had trouble keeping a straight face and then they excite him with that?! Totally unfair. That said, this tango didn't have too much to write home about except to say that Milo pulled off every pose, hit, and turn perfectly, and he didn't crack up once. I didn't quite buy the sizzling chemistry he and Witney were trying to pull off, but considering he's underage, that might be for the best.
What the judges said: The judges went wild for this routine, and Carrie Ann and Bruno even got so animated about how much they loved the number that between the two of them, Len had to literally walk away from the table. Len did mention that Milo was dancing with his butt out in an attempt to dance down to Witney's level, which was not attractive.
Keep dat booty in, Milo, if you want a 10!
Danelle Umstead and Artem Chigvintsevdid: Quickstep - "Luck Be a Lady" - live performance by Donny Osmond
The dance: Danelle had a little trouble with the ramp last night, so she decided to forgo the stairs altogether this time around. Why walk when you can have handsome men just carry you down? This routine took a while to get going, starting at the craps table and then moving to the roulette wheel and then making it to the ballroom floor. Not for nothing, but this show has the word Dancing in the title, doesn't it? That being said, Danelle kept up really well with some choreography that was no doubt really difficult for her. She didn't even have to count — at least not that I saw!
What the judges said: "You have a gift that the others don't have: you touch our heart every time," Carrie Ann gushed. Len didn't love the slow-going intro either, but he was a big fan of how much Artem used the floor and the space. Bruno didn't love or hate the dance itself, but he's a big fan of Danelle, which is probably why he's so generous with his scores.
Not so lucky with the scores this time, but hope springs eternal.
The dance: I wonder if "Alan spanking privileges" was in Alexis' contract when she signed on for the season? Despite a bit of an emotional breakdown in rehearsals, Alexis mastered every lift, twist and shake in this routine, and she did all of it while being crowded on a teeny-tiny stage surrounded by fans. Frankly, that was my one complaint for this dance. Why limit yourself to a small circle rather than use the whole stage? I kept getting nervous that one or both of them would fall off that thing — or worse, kick a fan in the head with those endless lifts!
What the judges said: Len made a slightly off-color comment about "working your assets," which is probably as close as this show will ever come to cursing. He didn't love the lifts — though Bruno did — and Carrie Ann warned Alexis to keep her core strong or her "bendy" abilities wouldn't be controlled enough to help her in the long run.
She ends in the splits and no one gives her a 9? For shame.
The dance: Who knew that John Schneider had the top-selling Elvis cover of all time? Definitely the Dancing with the Stars producers when they selected this routine for him... Not sure I'm a huge fan of the couple's matching wigs, but the dance was a fun way to spend 45 seconds. Emma definitely choreographed this routine right, bringing in other pros to play even more Elvises (What's the plural of Elvis? Elvi?) and making it a competition. It limited the amount steps John had to learn while still keeping him involved in the dance as a whole.
What the judges said: Carrie Ann criticized John's "baby arms," aka his tendency to keep his arms tucked in and bent instead of reaching them out to their full extent. Len and Bruno thought Emma lost a bit of the "Jive" element, but mostly, they were just impressed that John managed to dance two nights back to back. Hmmm, maybe that's why he was suddenly exempt last week? Was he too tired?
Hmmm, these two might just be in danger.
The dance: This dance should have knocked it out of the park with the musical guest alone. Boys II Men? Are you kidding me?! Unfortunately, this dance marked DeMarcus' first missteps in the competition. He wasn't quite on the same rhythm as Lindsay sometimes, which meant that their one little leap was completely off. I honestly thought they were going down at that point. There were also instances where it looked like DeMarcus was dragging Lindsay along with him instead of turning with her gracefully, but that's probably just what happens when one partner's stride is so much bigger than the other's.
What the judges said: "You had a few moments of out of sync-ness," Carrie Ann noticed, making me wonder yet again why I'm not a judge on this show. I'm just saying, I catch all this stuff too. Len called out his hooked shoulder, but Lindsay cut in to say that was her fault. She is like a foot and a half shorter than him, so if he kept his shoulder up like Len wanted, she wouldn't be able to grab onto him. LOL.
DeMarcus falls to the middle of the pack for the first time.
The dance: Joe is so adorably committed to making this work that he even started writing down all the choreography in an attempt to get it right. And yet... Joe fell apart once again in this routine. He couldn't quite make his feet do what his brain was telling them, meaning he was offbeat almost the whole time. It also looked like he forgot some step while getting swept up in the heat of the moment, which only exacerbated the problem. I'll be sad to watch beautiful Grocery Store Joe go, but how much longer can they feasibly keep this guy around when he keeps screwing up?
What the judges said: "It was a routine," Len started out before going off on a tangent about Jenna's choreography. Ultimately, he had nothing to say to Joe but "good job," which was honestly so nice of him. Len, you old softie. Carrie Ann even tried to save him by telling him he looked proud of what he'd done, but Joe didn't play along. Ultimately, it was up to her to point out all the off-tempo moments.
I'll miss your gorgeous face, Joe!
The dance: Evanna gets better and better each night, which is making me reconsider whether or not she might be a dark horse in this race. Her endless exuberance served her well in this routine, since it wasn't just fast, it was lightning-quick. Sometimes it felt like her need to hit everything as hard as possible made her jump the gun on certain moves, but Evanna's personality carried her through this fun, kitschy number nevertheless.
What the judges said: The judges loved her extra energy, though Carrie Ann mentioned that she needed to control it enough to be one time, since she was a little ahead of the beat sometimes. Len — yes grumpy Len! — disagreed, saying she was right on time. So there.
Keep your eye on this girl! She might run away with this thing.
Bobby Bones and Sharna Burgess: Quickstep - "That Old Black Magic" by Sammy Davis Jr.
The dance: Bobby struck out to prove that he's not just a performer, he's a dancer. He didn't achieve that goal, but hey, A for effort! I can't really tell if the magic trick component of the routine was built in to distract from Bobby's kind of choppy dancing, but if so... it worked. I was too busy working out how they sawed the girl in half to watch most of the choreography. I did look in enough to notice that Bobby wasn't exactly killing the Quickstep though.
What the judges said: Carrie Ann might have been a fan of the energy in the first few nights, but now she wants more. "I would love to ask you to tone it down just an notch. You could be a very good dancer if we can just channel it," she said. Bruno agreed, saying all his extra energy only managed to pull Sharna around the stage instead of leading her.
Bobby's personality couldn't carry him forever.
The dance: You know, this was a perfectly passable Paso, and while some people struggle with the angry/aggressive face Paso Doblé's require, Nancy had it down! That being said, Nancy still doesn't have to rhythm or agility to win this competition, or to wow the judges. As a result, she'll keep getting mediocre scores that will eventually send her home, but lucky for her, there are still one or two contestants that will get booted before she does.
What the judges said: Bruno compared the dance to Game of Thrones, Pirates of the Caribbean and Vikings, making me wonder if he might watches even more TV than I do. Len thought the dance lacked some finesse, but Carrie Ann praised Nancy for keeping up with the pros who were dancing around her.
Mediocre but manageable.
The dance: At this point, I'm wondering if it's even fair to keep Tinashe in the race. She's just too good, too flexible, too sharp! There's no move she can't master and no lift she's not afraid to try. Even if it means elbowing her partner in the eye... Hey, all's fair in love and war and Dancing with the Stars. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be watching this routine on YouTube over and over and over again.
What the judges said: Bruno went nuts over the isolation and musicality both in the choreography. You generate this heat, and you generate energy... and it brings everybody in!" Carrie Ann gushed, and even Len called it a knock-out performance! He's desperate for her to get a Waltz or a Foxtrot though to see if she can work elegance into her "booga-looey" dancing — whatever that is.
Again, no 10? What, are we out or something?
The dance: It's injury season on Dancing with the Stars! Honestly, aren't these pros telling their stars to stretch?? Mary Lou was having back issues this week, which isn't super surprising considering she's had so many injuries and surgeries thanks to her gymnastics background. It's not in an Olympian's nature to quit though, so she danced full out. The synchronization wasn't always on point, and it even resulted in a nearly missed final trick,
What the judges said: Carrie Ann praised Mary Lou for replacing technique with some plain old fun. Len called this routine a proper Samba, which seemed to please Sasha, and he even said he wished everyone would just come out and do what Mary Lou and Sasha do every week. High praise!
Her highest score yet!
Elimination: Danelle and Artem brought a whole lot of joy and inspiration to the floor, but ultimately they couldn't really compete with the other couples that kept bringing it each week. Danelle didn't have much to say other than, "It's been fun," when Tom asked for a comment, but honestly, who can blame her?
Dancing with the Stars airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.