We've got another Dancing with the Stars results show coming our way tonight, a.k.a. approximately 55 minutes of ratings-generating fluff before we find out which three couples are heading to next week's finals.
The standings, based on the judges' scores from Monday's semifinal performance show, are as follows: Riker Lynch and Allison Holker tied for first place with Nastia Liukin and Derek Hough/Sasha Farber (both pairs received perfect scores on each of their dances Monday), followed by Rumer Willis and Val Chmerkovskiy in third place and Noah Galloway and Sharna Burgess in fourth.
Quickly, after a reminder that Noah proposed to his girlfriend the previous evening, we learn that Noah and Sharna are in jeopardy.
Then we get a USO tribute dance from the troupe, set to the strains of Bryan Adams' "Summer of '69" and John Mellencamp's "R.O.C.K. in the USA." America!
Riker and Allison are safe and will definitely be dancing in next week's finals.
After a pre-taped bit in which Sasha and Emma Slater take us through a century of dancing in less than two minutes, we learn that Nastia and Derek are also in jeopardy.
Because it's only 8:30, we get a few more performances, including an all-female number from the troupe members and pros, one from Flo Rida, and one from Riker's brother Ross and some co-stars lip-syncing along to a song from the upcoming television film Teen Beach 2.
Also in jeopardy? Rumer and Val. The judges look stunned as this competition heats up.
At long last, we arrive at the beef of the broadcast. Who's going home? Len echoes all of our thoughts by saying that no one deserves to get eliminated after last night's stellar performances. But alas, that's not how reality TV works.
Noah and Sharna are ... safe! Truly a shock.
So the eliminated couple is ... Nastia and Derek. Wow. Maybe Nastia should have proposed to someone on Monday's show.
What did you think, Dancing fans? Are you shocked Derek and Nastia were sent home? And which couple will you be rooting for in the finals? Sound off in the comments - and see you next week!
VIDEO: Dancing's Derek Hough teaches us how to tango!