Well, first off, according to
People.com, Tori Spelling says she's game. Conveniently, the show's
cast breakdown includes siblings with the last name Silver, which, you'll remember, is also Donna's married name. So, in a fantasy land where the producers think that Spelling joining the cast is a good idea, how could they best incorporate Donna Martin Silver Graduates? -
We'll start with Spelling's own "ideas."
The trophy wife: Spelling plays the young stepmom of the Silver kids.
Snap judgment: Maybe. Producers keep calling this a "spin-off," which would imply that one or more characters from the old show will appear, if only briefly, on the new show. That said, if Spelling plays Donna Martin on the new show, it would mean she will have A) dumped David and B) married another guy with the last name Silver, which seems unlikely, unless the twist is that she married David's uncle or something. Plus, the breakdown seems to indicate that the Silver parents are not around much. But maybe that's a good thing.
The sex-ed teacher: Spelling thinks it would be funny if her character, the eternal virgin, grew up to be a sex-positive educator.
Snap judgment: No. I never got how 90210 sold Spelling as some kind of genius slapstick comedienne, especially in the early years. She had her moments, but mostly she wasn't laugh-out-loud funny. Besides, sex-ed-class scenes on TV are usually terrible, teetering between mining for vaguely sexist comedy (class stud brags about his skillz, but doesn't know what a "vulva" is) and attempting to provide accurate information for the kiddies (the old condom-on-the-banana routine). Spare us the lecture.
And now, my infinitely superior idea....
The "Nat": Spelling plays Donna, who is now the proprietress of a hip Beverly Hills Asian fusion restaurant called Bao Thai, the kids' new Peach Pit. After David's music career took off in Japan (and only Japan), Donna's travels made her quite the connoisseur of pan-Asian cuisine and culture. As a result, she now dresses like a kind of hip, punk-rock geisha, dispensing advice in ironic, fortune-cookie-style puns. ("She who looks only at a man's face might miss his bottom line.") Can't you picture the kiddies scarfing up free spring rolls? Think of all the underage-saketini-drinking possibilities.
And now, your snap judgment? Would you have Spelling play an adult Donna Martin? Or someone else entirely?