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The ex-sitcom despot makes a lot of noise in her new Lifetime "docu-series" about how she's left Hollywood behind for a simpler life as a macadamia farmer in Hawaii: "I used to star on a show called Roseanne... After a while, I started thinking it was all bullsh-- and that I was addicted to bullsh--." Well, she's still hooked, because this show is full of it — and not just the "dump" a wild pig takes on her porch in the excruciating premiere.
Seriously, if you're trying to escape the craziness of showbiz, why bring a reality-show crew along with you? And if you do, why don't you make sure they aren't shooting up your dress? (In one scene, Roseanne's crotch has to be pixilated, lest we get a peek at her, um, nuts). "The solution to all the world's problems begins with my nuts," she declares. "Duh!" Charlie Sheen, this is your future.
Are you mad about Roseanne's Nuts?