In an interview with the New York Post, Barbara Walters says she turned down Paris Hilton's first post-pokey Q&A because - get this - the story wasn't "important" enough. "Look, I've done prison interviews before, but people like the Menendez brothers were really important news stories," she reasoned. "This wasn't. And even though I'd already written my questions, when all that pay-for-play stuff happened, I suddenly felt this was not up to my standard. It felt... sort of tawdry. The whole thing somehow was beneath me."

Natch, ABC had a cow and a half. "For them, it was ratings," Walters says. (Well, duh.) "For me, it was respect. I'm fortunately at a point in my life where I can choose what I want, and this was solely my decision" - which, she adds, ABC respected by not forcing her to gab with Hilton. Instead, execs just gathered in a dark corner, holding one another and weeping quietly.