This week is what summer is all about: Baseball, free outdoor concerts, and reality shows at their worst — by which we mean their best. Welcome to our Top Moments, Boys of Summer edition.
7. Biggest Bully: When Big Brother's Russell verbally attacks his fellow clique member Jeff, the two have a heated war of words that involves a lot of chest-pounding and caveman threats. We're all about BB shouting matches, but based on the footage we've seen so far, the verbal assault was unwarranted and maybe hurt Russell more than it helped him. And Jeff wins by carrying on his side of the fight without breaking stride on the elliptical machine.
6. Best Toast: Nurse Jackie and the rest of the nursing staff gather around sassy patient Maureen (Judith Ivey), who wishes to die on her own terms, to say one final goodbye. With champagne poured for all, Jackie places a few drops of morphine in Maureen's glass as the patient toasts, "Here's to you and here's to me. And if we ever disagree, [expletive] you. And here's to me."
5. Best Reveal: Guess what, guys? True Blood's Maryann has claws! And the head of a bull sometimes! And she's making everyone in town crazy with her sexy dancing and orgies of food, wine, sex and violence. Also: As played by Michelle Forbes, she's awesome.
4. Saddest Double Cross: On Weeds, Nancy writes the lovesick Andy a "Dear John" letter and instead moves into the mansion of her kingpin boyfriend, Esteban. In true ruthless criminal fashion, Esteban then dumps her as soon as a mystery woman appears.
3. Worst Performance: The Bachelorette's Ed gets some alone time on an overnight date with Jillian — and suffers intimacy issues that may make him regret coming back to the show. (He left previously to focus on work, and drum up drama over Jillian's final pick.) Does he deserve the shame of having his failure to perform nationally aired? If he had any shame, would he be on the show in the first place? TVGuide.com's own Joyce Eng has been begging us all week to include a joke about Ed having E.D. Good one, Joyce. But in his defense, Jillian said he just fell asleep.
2. Best Pitch: Barack Obama vowed not to bounce the opening pitch across the plate at the All-Star Game, and he succeeded — thanks in part to a quick move forward by his catcher, Cardinals' hometown hero Albert Pujols. It was a moment with stakes as low as the game itself, home field World Series advantage notwithstanding. Sometimes baseball's best when you don't care who wins.
1. Most Welcome Guest: Forty-five years after he and his fellow Beatles launched the British Invasion, Paul McCartney returns to the Ed Sullivan Theater for his first performance on the Late Show with David Letterman. His performance above the theater's marquee draws thousands of New Yorkers — and millions of viewers enjoying a resurgence of Beatlemania.
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