Bachelor in Paradise rolled on. Crabs kept crabbing, Cam kept moping, John Paul Jones fell asleep hanging over the edge of a pool, and the Hannah-Blake-Dylan love triangle continued. Demi and Derek seemed like a strong couple, but Demi wasn't telling him something: Demi was dating a woman back in LA. Derek could tell something was going on, though, even though Demi wasn't ready to talk about it with him yet. But Demi did tell her close friend Kate about how she's still thinking about the woman at home. Demi started to cry talking about how she wanted to be honest about who she is, but she was scared, because people have made her feel small throughout her life. But here's the thing, Demi: You have millions of supporters now.
Dylan pulled Hannah aside to be like "What's up? What's going on with you and us and Blake?" He couldn't figure out Blake's appeal and hold over Hannah. "I feel like I'm missing something," he said. And she finally came clean: Blake flew to see her in Birmingham, and they kissed. OH MY GOD, BLAKE AND HANNAH. Blake is such a player, dude. When Dylan told Mike and Derek what happened, they were shocked. Then, Blake told some other people that he flew to see Hannah A WEEK BEFORE PARADISE. Damn, Hannah really didn't talk about this at all. The girl just doesn't talk. Hannah is playing these dudes! Tayshia was mad about Hannah's player ways and Hannah not telling her about Blake before she went out with him, and pulled Hannah aside about not being upfront about her relationship with Blake. Hannah was like "IDK, I'm just doing whatever." Tayshia walked away from the conversation feeling like Hannah was manipulative, and Hannah felt like Tayshia "mean girled" her. She should have heard what Demi was saying about her.
She mean-girled you? Actually, she respectfully pulled you aside and expressed herself like a grown woman would another grown woman. #BachelorInParadise— Randi Pink Author (@randi_pink) August 14, 2019
Caelynn said she was ready to move on with someone new. And then... Dean arrived! Deanie Babies! He's jobless, living in a van, being a vagabond, having a big, weird mustache! But he's here to redeem himself for being the Blake of his season two years ago. Caelynn was into him, but then she got mad at Kristina for "slut shaming" her. But I'm not sure what Kristina did? She talked about the Blake situation? I don't know. Maybe she was jealous when Kristina talked to him, knowing their history together? Anyway, did you get the sense that Caelynn and Dean already knew each other? They didn't greet each other like strangers. I would not be surprised to hear they did some DM sliding before the season. Meanwhile, Cam was so sad because Caelynn was gone.
On their date, Dean said he was ashamed of how he acted on Paradise before, and that he would never do it again. But Caelynn said she was very intrigued by Dean and his lifestyle, which is aimless traveling. He openly has no ambitions and no foresight. Caelynn loves it. Caelynn is 23. She loves how honest he is about who he is. "He's enigmatic and mysterious," she said. Oh, Caelynn. Ah, youth.
Jordan and Demi sat on the beach and roasted everyone. Who's getting a rose? "Anyone But Cam!" Chris Bukowski has formaldehyde in his bag because he's so old.
Some dude named Christian who went home night one on Becca's season showed up. He was rude to Jordan at the Men Tell All once, so Jordan dissed him for wearing sneakers to the beach instead of espadrilles. Christian pulled Nicole, much to Clay's chagrin. He asked her on a date, and she accepted. Wow, Nicole's been on three 1-on-1s! Who is she, Hannah G.?
Clay was sad and worried that Nicole actually would have a connection with Christian. Christian and Nicole went Jet-Skiing. Their conversation was pretty intense with the flirty banter. They made out and he bit her face. Christian is a dude with a lot of machismo. They got back, and Nicole said that she wasn't sure about Clay anymore, because she liked Christian's assertiveness. Nicole liked that he made everything a sexual innuendo, and when she told Sydney, Sydney was like "OK." Clay pulled her aside, and Nicole admitted that she wished he was more assertive. Christian came over to them and interrupted them and asked Clay to let him finish his date with Nicole, and Clay was like, "Your date is over, dude." Christian was getting very aggro and making Nicole choose, and Nicole chose to hang with Clay for a bit. That was enough to get Christian off Clay's back, but it wasn't over. Nicole was like, "You should put him in his place."
It was time for the rose ceremony cocktail party, and a lot of roses were up for grabs. There were only two solid-ish couples, Demi & Derek and Katie & Chris. And Demi still had something to tell Derek. She said she's been casually dating a woman, and she hadn't been talking about it because it's scary to talk about. She's a little conflicted, but she's still very into Derek and willing to see where it goes. Derek wasn't sure about how Demi could have room in her heart for both of them, and Demi said they were so different. But Derek said he was willing to take it slow, as long as she was open and straightforward with him. It went really well! Derek was very understanding.
Derek is so sweet❤️ #BachelorinParadise— Abby_Lundquist5 (@ALundquist5) August 14, 2019
Mike and Sydney ate ice cream together and tried to decide if they were going to link up. Mike said he loved her "core values" and her "character." John Paul Jones recited a poem from Romeo & Juliet for Tayshia. It was kinda cute, even though he forgot a lot of it. She liked it enough to kiss him. Tayshia was into his intellectual surfer dude vibe.
Nicole knew she had to choose somebody and break somebody else's heart, and she said it was a hard decision, but you could tell she was loving it. Christian put up a piñata for her and gave her some chocolate-covered strawberries. Clay saw all this going down, and though it went against his gentle nature, he went over to confront them, because he knew that's what Nicole would want. Plus, he had Jordan on his shoulder encouraging him. Christian knew he had the upper hand, and told Clay to have a strawberry and go away. Clay didn't press it and walked away, but Jordan — who does not have a gentle nature — was like, "No way, dude, I'm gonna stand up for you. I'm gonna destroy his piñata." So he went over and grabbed the piñata, and it quickly escalated into a physical fight. Yikes! Boys! This is not what Clay wants!
Damn, I can't believe we have to wait a whole week for that cliffhanger to be resolved.
Bachelor in Paradise airs Mondays and Tuesdays at 8/7c on ABC. It's available to stream on Hulu.