Question: You never answer my questions. Your stardom is making you forget those loyal readers who helped you get where you are today. You can redeem yourself with a little poopy-scoop about the status of my favorite comedy, The King of Queens.

Answer: Depending on whom you ask, the show's prospects for a ninth season are either iffy or nil. One source tells me the show will definitely not be returning next season, but another one insists talks are ongoing and it's still possible it could come back. Good thing I don't give a rat's ass, or else I'd really be on pins and needles. (Are we good now, Jase?)