Oh, you thought terror ended on October 31? Well you were wrong, my friend, because there's still three more weeks of American Horror Story: Roanoke to go. In case you're jumping in for "Chapter 8," the simple version is that there was — in the context of the show — a docu-series titled My Roanoke Nightmare that was the most popular TV show of 2015. So the producers decided to do a sequel called Return to Roanoke: Three Days in Hell.
Shockingly, it's turned out to be three days in hell (I know, big twist), as the "real" people — who previously bought an abandoned mansion in the woods coveted by murderous ghosts and cannibal hillbillies — and the actors who played them on My Roanoke Nightmare have been killed, one by one.
We know that by the end of this, only one of them will survive. Last week was a bloodbath, and this week only eliminated more of the cast. So with that in mind, here's every big moment from "Chapter 8."
In case everything wasn't meta enough, we kick off with Shelby (Lily Rabe) breaking the alarming fact to Dominic (Cuba Gooding, Jr.) that "you've played this scene before." He's still having a hard time believing ghosts are real, and they just killed Kathy Bates (not the real Kathy Bates, but the character that... You know what, never mind). He's also having a hard time wrapping his mind around the fact that everything that happened on My Roanoke Nightmare is happening again, in the same order.
So naturally, because even in "real" life everyone on this show is a big dummy, they decide to escape through the secret tunnel where they were attacked by a ghost like an hour earlier. Guess what happens? They're attacked by a ghost — specifically one of the backwards, Ring-esque Chan ghosts. Who could have predicted that? Oh, everyone.
At this point, though, I'd like to point out that if things aren't repeating themselves to point out something about the nature of horror sequels, and that we'll eventually pull back the veil to discover that there's another layer to this thing... it's a missed opportunity. Anyway, on to the cannibal hillbillies.
The cannibal, incestuous hillbilly Polk family who are torturing the rest of the cast and slowly eating pieces of Adina Porter remember the show is called American Horror Story, and decide to tell the story of how they became who they are. Guess what? They were hungry and decided to eat people. Now you can skip that section of the show.
Anyway, Lee (Porter) threatens them, so they cut more skin off her leg and her ear, which is pretty gross. Turns out the Polks get a pickled ear every Christmas, which sounds like a nice tradition. But they also have a confusing side story: one of the Polks doesn't know that Lee's daughter is named Flora, but does know about the TV show she was on. "We're part of the United States, we get TV!" he shouts, but it certainly seems like he was paying about as much attention to My Roanoke Nightmare as Ryan Murphy and company are paying to the plot of this show.
Oh, also, we find out the IRL Piggy Man who gets burned is a Polk: they've aped how evil ghost The Butcher likes to cut off pigs heads and set people on fire; and the Polks decided to ape that, because, you know, delicious. To celebrate this occasion (or at least her impending death), Lee and the Polk do some cocaine. Again, some pretty fun stuff.
Escaping from the Chan ghost, Dominic and Shelby run into the kitchen, with Dominic injuring his hand in the process. This hand injury may or may not turn out to be important, but they do spend a lot of time on it, so I figured it was worth mentioning.
Unfortunately, Piggy Man (ghost version, not the version the Polks like to turn themselves into), the Chan ghost, the Murder Nurses, and, oh, I don't know, probably some sort of killer bunny monster or something probably, attack them all at once, with Shelby again getting her leg hurt (in My Roanoke Nightmare, her leg got chopped by the Polks).
So yeah, once again, this seems like it's either purposeful sequel repetition, or just repetition... up until Shelby cuts her own throat in front of Dominic.
Knowing that her death by consumption (being eaten, not the olde-timey disease) is imminent, Lee tapes a goodbye video to her daughter... and the shocking revelation is that Lee did kill her husband Mason. In the show within a show, Lee blamed his death by burning on the ghosts; but turns out she killed Mason because he was going to take Flora from her.
I'll note: Producer Sidney's (Cheyenne Jackson) main goal in reconvening the cast was to get Lee to admit she killed Mason on camera, which definitely helps buoy up the whole "this is just a TV show with fake hillbillies" theory. Regardless, Lee tricks the Polk watching her into untying her with her sexual wiles, and then stabs him in the head. So, you know, potentially worst acting gig ever.
Polks' Big Bite
Meanwhile, Audrey Tindall (Sarah Paulson) and Monet Tumusiime (Angela Bassett) are being held by the rest of the Polks, who are very confused about the difference between reality and fantasy. They collected the fake teeth from the awesome teeth rain a few episodes back, and when they find out they are fake, decide to pull them some real teeth. In the process, their pliers break.. Again, this is definitely all fake, right? Like, who has pliers that break on a person's teeth?
Monet's chair also breaks (seriously, the Polks better get some refunds for all this stuff), so she escapes, leaving Audrey at the mercy of Mama Polk, who decides to pull Audrey's teeth. I'm trying to think of a metaphor for what this whole, extended scene where the Polks threaten to pull people's teeth is like, but it's just not coming to mind. I'm sure it'll come to me eventually.
Anyway, Monet escapes, but naturally keeps her camera on the whole time, which attracts the Polks; while Lee finds Audrey and frees her from Mama Polk. Again, this all seems very easy, given the Polks are cannibal hillbillies who seem to know how to survive murderous ghost invasions... But if they are just actors, Audrey emphasizes this just isn't a great gig when she bashes Mama Polk's head in (it's a trend!)
Returning to the house — because if you had just been partially eaten by cannibal hillbillies, why not return to the house filled with killer ghosts? — Lee and Audrey discover Matt's (Andre Holland) battered body. Audrey encourages Lee to move on from seeing her brother's ruined corpse, which she does pretty well, and they head up to the bedroom to share a joint.
Again, taking a rest in the middle of all of this and doing some drugs to just chill out seems like a really solid idea.
Heading to the bathroom, they discover Shelby's dead body and Dominic, who provides a little exposition about what happened back at the house. Lee and Audrey don't believe Dominic, so they lock him outside the bedroom and Piggy Man bashes his head in (seriously, it's a whole trend, I'm not joking).
The next morning, Lee and Audrey are still alive ("What time is it, I can't believe this phone is still working," Audrey says, which is also a question I've had as a viewer, so thanks Audrey) and decide to... now, I'm not joking here... head back to the Polk farm to destroy the evidence they murdered a bunch of people.
...And that's when we get yet another twist: Piggy Man shows up at the door. The twist? It's not Piggy Man for real, it's Gideon (Wes Bentley), presumably the name of the actor who played Ambrose White on My Roanoke Nightmare. Is him showing up confirmation that this all has been a double blind, with Sidney still pulling the strings just to get Lee to confess to Mason's murder?
I'm going to say... probably.
American Horror Story: Roanoke airs Wednesdays at 10/9c on FX.