The Royle Family Season 3 Episodes

Episode 1

Baby

28 mins

Denise and Dave bring 10-month-old David Keanu Best to visit his grandparents. Predictably, most of the child-minding is left to Dave, rather than lazy Denise, which perturbs Barbara. Antony's friend Darren is also visiting; he's been caught trying to steal a fridge/freezer from work. He is delighted when Denise starts to breast-feed Baby David, though Jim is disgusted. The family discusses David's future, while Dave announces that he will build him a toy farmyard.

Episode 2

Babysitting

It's Saturday and Jim and Barbara have had Baby David stay overnight with them so that his parents could go to the karaoke at their local, The Feathers. Now both Denise and Dave are hungover, so Barbara fixes them bacon sandwiches. They see Joe and Mary from next door getting out of a taxi--returning from hospital after Joe cut his finger grating cheese--a fact that doesn't surprise Jim. The baby starts to cry and Antony is sent upstairs to pacify him while the others slip out to the pub.

Episode 3

Decorating

30 mins

Jim is actually working. Along with Twiggy he is scraping wallpaper so the dining area may be decorated for David's christening party. When Dave comes in they blackmail him into helping them by threatening to tell everybody how he called the police when he - wrongly - thought his van was stolen. When Denise arrives Barbara points out that she relies on others too much to baby-sit though Denise makes excuses. Antony brings Darren in. He is on Community Service and everybody teases him as he is dating Big Julie from Argos who looks like Tina Turner - and is twice his age.

Episode 4

Funeral

26 mins

Nana's friend Elsie has died, and when she and Barbara return from the funeral she is drowning her sorrows with brandy--but at the same time she goes on about all the things that she will be taking from Elsie's flat for herself. This annoys Jim, who calls her The Living Dead. Barbara declares that she won't cook dinner and sends Antony to buy fish-and-chips, which pleases Cheryl because it's a break from her diet. While everybody else is downstairs, Jim goes up and talks through Baby David's baby monitor, pretending to be Elsie's ghost telling Nana to keep her thieving hands off her possessions.

Episode 5

London

30 mins

Antony announces that he and Darren are going to London on a musically-connected business trip, and when Jim mocks him Denise uncharacteristically sticks up for her brother, accusing Jim of always putting him down. The Bests' baby is their talking point: Denise tells everybody how he spilled an ashtray over himself, and Dave says he's still building the toy farmyard. Nana is taking forever in the toilet, and when she comes downstairs she complains that she is constipated, but her affliction ends when she breaks wind.

Episode 6

The Christening

28 mins

Barbara has laid on a sumptuous buffet for the party following Baby David's christening, though some of the guests who turn up at the Royles' are not exactly endearing--especially Michelle, Twiggy's much-younger girlfriend, who insults Cheryl with a comment about her weight and annoys Denise by mentioning Dave's ex-girlfriend Beverley Macca. P.J., a scruffy pensioner, smells of urine but Mary dances with him all the same before Jim and Barbara perform a duet. Antony and Emma announce their engagement, which leads everybody to guess that she is pregnant.

Episode 7

The Royle Family at Christmas

29 mins

On Christmas Day, Darren, Nana, and the Bests--who seem to have raided Baby David's savings for their own presents--turn up at the Royles', but Jim is annoyed: nobody has brought him anything. Later, Antony brings Emma and her parents, Valerie and Roger. They are clearly much better off than the Royles--Valerie has had implants and Roger has a boat, a personalized number-plate, and a box at Old Trafford (and, he confides to Jim, a mistress). After they've gone, an embittered Jim rants to Baby David about being a loser. Then he learns that the family has bought him a present after all: a subscription to SkyTV.