The Phil Silvers Show Season 1 Episodes

Episode 0

You'll Never Get Rich

Episode 1

New Recruits

Tue, Sep 20, 1955

Bilko needs a new bankroll for tomorrow night's poker game, so he looks to his new recruits for quick cash.

Episode 2

The Empty Store

Tue, Sep 27, 1955

Sgt Bilko is still reeling from his losses at poker. He hears a member from his training squad was similarly fleeced by the base card sharks. Bilko cooks a scheme to win back all their losses by taking advantage of peoples natural curiosity when he rents an empty store in a nearby town

Episode 3

The WAC

Tue, Oct 4, 195530 mins

Bilko's plan to volunteer for a special duty that would provide him with his own personal jeep is in jeopardy, when a new sergeant also volunteers. Bilko then schemes to take the other sergeant down, but he may have met his match.

Episode 4

The Horse

Tue, Oct 11, 1955

Bilko uses the platoon fund to buy ailing racehorse, 'Bell Boy.' Smuggling the horse into Fort Baxter, Bilko dreams of making a fortune at the races when the horse is well.

Episode 5

A.W.O.L.

Tue, Oct 18, 195530 mins

Sgt Bilko is sent to Chicago to bring back one of his AWOL privates who has gone home to take care of urgent family business. Bilko becomes embroiled in a feud between two Hungarian families and needs all his guile and personal skills to save the situation

Episode 6

The Boxer

Tue, Oct 25, 1955

As the company boxing match draws near, Bilko tries to turn the lack of a competitive boxer in his platoon into an advantage. Unfortunately for Sgt Bilko others are scheming to also gain advantage from the situation.

Episode 7

The Hoodlum

Tue, Nov 1, 1955

Sgt. Bilko's attempt to win soldier of the month becomes complicated when he inherits problem child Parker into his platoon. Sgt. Bilko begins a complicated scheme to bring Parker around and avoid any trouble. Unfortunately his scheme proves too successful and the final outcome is not what anyone expected.

Episode 8

Mardi Gras

Tue, Nov 8, 195530 mins

The platoon's preparations for the Mardi Gras progress with Private Doberman being declared King. He selects local socialite Joy Landers to be his queen. She rejects the offer and her derision of the soldiers infuriates Bilko to the point he cooks up a plan to publicly humiliate the woman in front of her peers

Episode 9

The Eating Contest

Tue, Nov 15, 195530 mins

Company B constantly loses all bets against rival Company A, but upon the arrival of Ed 'The Stomach' Honnegan, they sense their chance to win an Eating Contest. The only problem they encounter is that The Stomach has lost his appetite.

Episode 10

The Centennial

Tue, Nov 15, 1955

A special services officer arrives at the base and begins a program of offering fine arts, dance and painting instruction. Bilko becomes enraged when the officer, Lieutenant Parker bans the playing of poker. Sgt Bilko has trouble getting rid of Parker until the commander of the camp finds his own card playing activates curtailed

Episode 11

Bivouac

Tue, Nov 22, 1955

Sgt. Bilko must come up with a new ailment to avoid annual maneuvers, and this year it's Wilkinson's Disease. However, Colonel Hall has a trick up his sleeve that may break Bilko's perfect non-attendance record.

Episode 12

The Singing Contest

Tue, Dec 6, 1955

Sgt Bilko realizes a singing competition could be the platoon's way to warmth when their furnace breaks down in the middle of winter. If they make the finals they get a free trip to Miami. Although it goes against his instincts he decides to take advantage of a betting opportunity that requires him to bet the entire platoon's money against themselves. As simple as the scheme looks, not everything ends as expected

Episode 13

The Twitch

Tue, Dec 13, 195530 mins

Colonel Hall announces he is cracking down on the rampant gambling on the base. To keep the men occupied the colonel decides a series of fine art lectures will be delivered. Initially devastated Sgt Bilko soon realizes there is a gambling angle that can be exploited during the lectures

Episode 14

The Reunion

Tue, Dec 20, 1955

Sgt Bilko is granted a 10 day leave. He is excited when he realizes the 10 year reunion of his old squad from WW2 is coming up and he needs to go in style.

Episode 15

Rich Kid

Tue, Dec 27, 1955

Bilko thinks he can make a small fortune if he can open a new bar and grill but, as usual, he's strapped for cash. When he learns that one of his new recruits is heir to a fortune, he tries to convince the young man to invest in his latest money-making scheme.

Episode 16

Hollywood

Tue, Jan 3, 195630 mins

A Hollywood producer is planning to make a war film, but needs someone who served at the battle of Kabuchi to be a technical advisor. The only serving member of the Army they can find is Sgt Bilko.

Episode 17

The Investigation

Tue, Jan 10, 1956

A committee formed to investigate waste in the Army chooses Bilko's command to begin their inspection. Rather than see it as a problem, Bilko thinks he can convince the committee rather than cut costs, soldiers need a raise.

Episode 18

Kids in the Trailer

Tue, Jan 17, 195630 mins

Bilko finds out the wife of one of his platoon privates has arrived in town unexpectedly. To help him out Bilko attempts to forge paperwork to allow him to spend more time with his wife.

Episode 19

The Revolutionary War

Tue, Jan 24, 195630 mins

Bilko receives a box of artifacts from his Aunt which suggests that his ancestor, Major Joshua Bilko, played a vital role in the US gaining independence. Bilko takes a great deal of pride in knowing that it was a Bilko who served alongside George Washington at this glorious point in American History. He begins to read Major Joshua Bilko's diary and slowly realizes that maybe he and Joshua Bilko are not so dissimilar - but not in a good way.

Episode 20

Bilko's Transfer

Tue, Jan 31, 195630 mins

Col Hall decides he's had enough of Sgt Bilko's antics. He arranges to have him transfered to another post. His initial enthusiasm for the move fades quickly as Bilko's replacement makes Hall's life hell.

Episode 21

Bilko's Rest Cure

Tue, Feb 7, 195630 mins

During a heat wave, Bilko schemes to be sent to cooler climes. When his request to visit a sick aunt in upstate Wisconsin is denied - an officer found the "deathly ill" lady water skiing - things are looking bleak until the sergeant learns of a new Army recreational facility in the Rockies for soldiers suffering from mental stress. Now Bilko must convince his officers and the Army medical corps that the entire camp is in need of restorative rest and recreation.

Episode 22

Dinner at Sowici's

Tue, Feb 14, 195630 mins

After Sgt. Bilko and casual girlfriend Sgt. Hogan attend a wedding, Sgt. Bilko becomes concerned that Hogan might see more in their relationship than Bilko desires.

Episode 23

Army Memoirs

Tue, Feb 21, 1956

Bilko comes under pressure when the other sergeants complain about his activity on the base. Hall carpets Bilko and the resulting fall out sees Bilko crowned as the oldest private in the army.

Episode 24

Miss America

Tue, Feb 28, 195630 mins

Bilko is concerned his latest money making scheme, platoon sweetheart, has fallen flat with only one entry. One of them brings forth a photo of his girlfriend, and Bilko sees a future Miss America.

Episode 25

The Court Martial

Tue, Mar 6, 1956

Colonel Hall is keen to set a new Army record for inducting new recruits into the army. He aims to enlist 309 men in less than 2 hours and ALMOST achieves this by inducting 308 men + 1 chimpanzee. Somehow Zippy the chimp has been enlisted as Private Harry Speakup and once the Pentagon has him on their books the only way to get him out of the army is by convening a Court Martial. Bilko's head is also on the block and so he decides to act as Private Speakup's legal counsel to ensure a fair trial and save his own skin.

Episode 26

Furlough in New York

Tue, Mar 13, 195630 mins

Ernie and Joan decide it's a good idea to take a break from each other. They head off to New York hoping to rekindle old friendships and romances. But all does not run smoothly.

Episode 27

The Big Uranium Strike

Tue, Mar 20, 195630 mins

Bilko gets word that uranium has been discovered on farms adjoining Fort Baxter. He develops a scheme to find uranium on the base and find a way to use the information to his own advantage.

Episode 28

Bilko and the Beast

Tue, Mar 27, 1956

A new drill sergeant arrives at the base. Bilko sees a new mark to skim money from. However the sergeant soon displays he intends to be in charge and will be fleecing every cent he can from Bilko.

Episode 29

The Physical Check-Up

Tue, Apr 10, 195630 mins

Bilko is convinced that Colonel Hall is trying to get him kicked out of the army When he learns that he's been scheduled for a physical immediately after Hall granted his request to sit out a 20-mile training hike.

Episode 30

The Recruiting Sergeant

Tue, Apr 17, 195630 mins

Bilko gets a hot tip for a horse race in New York. He is broke and concerned he doesn't have enough money to take advantage of the situation. But as always he has a plan.

Episode 31

Bilko's Hair

Tue, Apr 24, 1956

Bilko is in trouble with his girlfriend. She becomes frustrated at Bilkos love of a card game over her. As usual Bilko has a scheme to fix things.

Episode 32

The Con Men

Tue, May 1, 1956

Doberman receives $500.00 but manages to lose it all at poker when he is befriended by three strangers in a café who just all happen to be from his home town. He doesn't realise that he has been taken but Bilko clearly sees this as a con and sets about getting himself conned by these same three strangers. Unfortunately for them the hunters become the hunted and it isn't long before Doberman has his money back and the platoon welfare fund is swelled.

Episode 33

War Games

Tue, May 8, 1956

Bilko agrees to be the best man at the wedding of one of his men; but the wedding is on hold since the sergeant has been ordered to lead a platoon of recruits in a war game pitting the Army against the National Guard.

Episode 34

Bilko on Wall Street

Tue, May 15, 1956

Bilko is excited when he is invited to spend a furlough in New York with an old friend who's become a millionaire. When he arrives he discovers the situation is a lot different than he expected.