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14 Episodes 1971 - 1972
Episode 1
31 mins
The Goodies agree to help a London Zoo keeper find a specimen for the Monster House being opened by the Queen. Tim smells an OBE if they are successful as he and the rest of the team head for Scotland to catch the legendary Loch Ness monster. The boys manage to catch something, and after many challenges transport the beast back to London. Do they have the monster? or is the catch far more interesting
Episode 2
30 mins
The Goodies get responsibility for organising the latest Commonwealth Games, so skew the event in favour of the Brits by choosing sports that are popular in Britain, but not necessarily anywhere else.
Episode 3
The boys complain to the government about the state of England, which has become so polluted animals are radioactive and rain is either tar or acid. They are ignored, so they sneak into a government building and discover that toxic pollution is deliberately being pumped into the water and air in a complex money-making scheme. They decide to subvert the plans, but as usual their cure involves a scientific concoction of Graeme's, and as usual he makes it too strong and chaos ensues.
Episode 4
A beautiful young woman asks the Goodies to search for her long-lost father. Eager to escape the cold London winter and their poorly heated office, the Goodies accept the job, expecting their travels to lead them through the hot jungles of south America.
Episode 5
All over Britain, musicians are being kidnapped - sometimes in the middle of live performances. Distraught at the sudden absence of culture, the music-loving Goodies decide to get to the bottom of the situation by becoming world-famous musicians themselves, so that they will get kidnapped and taken to the heart of the mystery. But the Goodies get more than they bargained for, and in the end, only some quick thinking can save them from a fate worse than death; getting locked in a cell with Rolf Harris!
Episode 6
The Goodies attend Sotheby's spring art auction, and become disgruntled by the apparent loss of English culture and art to cashed up Americans. Tim makes a stand and purchases a Velazquez self portrait for an outrageous amount then tries to donate to the National Gallery. The Minister is shocked; no one ever goes to the National Gallery anymore, especially the English. The Goodies then launch a scheme to steal the other paintings from the Gallery then claim the insurance money as a way to pay for the Velazquez painting. The scheme backfires when the Minister decides to close the Gallery down altogether. They only have one painting, the Velazquez which is far too valuable to exhibit. News comes through announcing the National Gallery will reopen, but needs paintings. Graeme realizes the problem is the National Gallery needs to become more interesting. He sets about using the paintings as centerpieces for side show stalls. The scheme works so well the Minister dismisses the boys, leaving them penniless and still owing money on the original painting. In the end Tim fives up and offers to auction everything to cashed up Americans, effectively leaving everything exactly where it was before the Goodies got involved.
Episode 7
The boys' latest venture, a veterinary clinic takes in a 23-year year old kitten named Twinkle. Who grows into a giant and attacks the city after being fed a growth serum.
Episode 8
The Goodies watch a ballroom dancing championship, when a number of competitors collapse and are later found to have been involved a doping scandal. The phone rings, it is Penelope Fay. She explains there has been a rash of issues with the Fay dancing team, and the Capone dancing team is behind it. She is convinced you can't beat the syndicates. The Goodies agree till she offers to pay them. The boys are inept at dancing till Graeme supplies specially designed suits that will do the dancing for the boys. Moments before the dance competition, Delia Capone visits the boys and tries to bribe them. They refuse, and she warns they better get insurance. The suits work perfectly and the boys stay competitive in the competition. During a break Delia discovers the Goodies secret and sabotages their efforts. However the judges still declares them winners. During the celebrations Capone pays a visit and reveals Fay's true identity, Peaches Ferneto, famous ballroom shark who'd served 5 years for throwing a dance competition. Peaches admits to everything. The two agree to a dance off winner takes all. At dawn the two teams face off and the Goodies prevail.
Episode 9
The Goodies return from their latest adventure to encounter Bill's latest craze health food. Disgusted they've had enough and go to a local restaurant, only to discover that none of their food is prepared by cooks by Nobel prize winning chemists. Desperate for a decent meal they got to visit Tim's uncle who is a farmer. Surprised they discover he's also gone high tech and the entire process is now automated. His uncle has taken things to such extremes that hens lay square eggs to make for easier shipping, and headless cows, because no one can eat the head. Graeme believes the food being produced lacks nutrition and invents a machine to prove his point. The tests confirm his theory, but Graeme realizes they need to close down the buyers. First he sabotages Uncle Tom's processes and the restaurant purchasing the food suffers a huge loss of clientèle. Mission accomplished they return to the farm and a free range chicken to eat for dinner. Tom comes in at the last minute, totally reformed and now a vegetarian and forbids the now starving Goodies from eating his animals
Episode 10
Bill is appalled at the way Graeme and Tim discuss Graeme's new girlfriend. He calls the Women's Liberation army, and Barbara comes to Goodies HQ and threatens to rough the boys up. She then sends them to her father's home to work as domestics so they can get an insight into the life of a woman. After a few days of Tim (dressed as a woman) and Graeme working at the house, Barbara arrives to announce that Bill is her new boyfriend. Tim struggles to adapt back to being a man after the encounter, and is convinced he is a liberated woman. Graeme now totally confused over how to handle gender relationships takes his computer out on a date. Finally Tim is forced to leave HQ after Bill and Graeme announce a double wedding to their respective partners. At the Church Tim makes an impassioned speech that convinces everyone to call the weddings off. He unfortunately attracts the attention of Barbara's father who thinks he might make a good brood mare, and all three boys make good their escape on their bike
Episode 11
Desiree Carthorse noted anti sex campaigner enlists the Goodies to produce a film about sex without mention sex. The boys put a sanitized piece together and show it to her. She objects to the use of the word gender in the opening sequence and threatens to sue the boys. She quickly convinces the world the Goodies are smut mongers and can't be trusted. They see a chance of redemption when a TV show featuring Reginald Wheelbarrow discusses the film. The Goodies kidnap the Member of Parliament and appear in his place, talking how tame the film is. The BBC realizes the ruse but then commission the boys to make more films. It is explained that the controversy around gender education is a way to keep people occupied with nonsense while the put the most violent shows they can think of. Graeme and Tim are disgusted by the idea, but Bill embraces the concept as a way to make lots of money. Eventually Desiree Tim and Graeme join forces to stop him by sabotaging the studios where Bill is making his productions. Bill goes crazy at the interference and tries to kill the other Goodies with a machine gun. He continues on in his rampage till he accidentally blows up the BBC destroying all TV broadcast in the British Isles
Episode 12
The Goodies are trying to raise money for charity. After being rebuked by the CEO of Sparkly Pegs, they realize they need to come up with a scheme that will help their charity. The CEO agrees to sponsor them, but makes them wear a strange costume as well as use bouncing balls, unaware bouncing is the boy's favorite hobby. The initial sponsorship was from London to Brighton, however when they reach the sea, they don't stop and continue eventually around the world. Mr Sparklipegs faces financial ruin as the amount of sponsorship continues to climb. He sends one of his minions to try unsuccessfully to stop them. They arrive back in London and a shocked to discover their nominated charity is owned by Mr Sparkilipegs, effectively they have bounced around the world for free
Episode 13
For some reason, the Goodies are being hated by the public rather than being loved, which is what they need to win the "Nicest Person in the World" competition. But when they ask the local police sergeant, they are told that they are in fact 'Baddies'. But at the same time as being in the police station, the Goodies are simultaneously committing offenses all over England. When the Police Sergeant accuses them, they point out that it couldn't be them as they were with him. The Police Sergeant agrees eventually. However, all the other nice people in the "Nicest Person in the World" competition are also being involved in offenses. Many other nice people are also simultaneously committing similar offenses, and all of the people involved are contestants in the "Nicest Person in the World" competition. The Goodies investigate and find that a mysterious Dr. Petal is behind the occurrences. Dr Petal then imprisons them in an alligator-sulfuric-acid-based death trap. The Goodies however, escape in an unexplained fashion. Dr Petal then imprisons them again in a bomb-poison-gas-based death trap. The bomb, however explodes, sending the Goodies flying towards the "Nicest Person in the World Competition"
Episode 14
Bill is offered £30 to to take care of a sick guinea pig. This gives the boys the idea to turn their office into a veterinary clinic for animals with unusual problems that a regular vet won't usually see. All goes well until Graeme gets a bit carried away curing a 23-year-old cat with dwarfism and accidentally turns it into a giant kitten that terrorizes London.