The Carol Burnett Show Season 9 Episodes

Episode 0

The Hospital/The Man Without a Green Thumb/The Old Torturer

Fri, Mar 7, 1975

Episode 1

Jim Nabors

Sat, Sep 13, 197560 mins

Highlights of this ninth-season premiere with guest Jim Nabors include: Eunice leaves Ed after she catches him going into a massage parlor in "The Family"; a hollow military hero does not want his latest commendation; and a Bicentennial salute to America's cities and towns.

Episode 2

Sammy Davis Jr.

Sat, Sep 20, 197522 mins

Highlights include: guest Sammy Davis Jr. as a star who returns to his hometown and visits an old so-called "friend" (Carol) who is somewhat of a racist; Harvey and Tim in a sketch about a "no-frills" airline whose treatment of first-class and economy passengers is radically different; Sammy in an Old West sketch as "Deputy Ringo" who carries a chip on his shoulder after being dumped by the Marshal (Harvey); Sammy performs a medley of his old hits (including "Yes I Can", "What Kind of Fool Am I", "I've Gotta Be Me", "Hey There" and "The Candy Man"); and for the close, a salute to composer Harold Arlen.

Episode 3

Cher

Sat, Sep 27, 197560 mins

Highlights include: two classical pianists (Harvey, Tim) prepare for a duet; guest Cher sings "Just This One Time", and duets with Carol on a musical number about women in variety; a husband has trouble deciding between his wife and his mistress in "The Not So Eternal Triangle"; a presentation of the 9th Annual "Carol Burnett Show" Awards for the most unforgettable commercials of the year; and on "As the Stomach Turns", Cher is the town's half-breed and Tim is the town's hairdresser/beautician.

Episode 4

Shirley MacLaine

Sat, Oct 4, 197522 mins

Highlights include: Carol and guest Shirley MacLaine sing about the problems with fan mail, and play little-league mothers who argue with the team's coach (Harvey); in "The Family", Eunice and Ed recall via flashbacks when they were dating; a hollow palace guard (Tim) refuses to let the King and Queen (Harvey, Carol) in without a password; and a parody of the "Bicentennial Minutes" with Harvey as narrator and Tim reenacting an historical moment.

Episode 5

Bernadette Peters

Sat, Oct 11, 197560 mins

Highlights include: guest Bernadette Peters sings and dances to "He's the Wizard"; two nurses refuse to aid a snake-bite victim unless an overbearing doctor apologizes; a housewife (Carol) recounts her most traumatic childhood experience to a psychiatrist (Harvey); a timid mugging victim tries to report the incident to a tough police sergeant; and for the close, a salute to the music of Irving Berlin.

Episode 6

Dame Maggie Smith

Sat, Oct 18, 197522 mins

Highlights include: the Queen (Carol) attempts to christen a ship in honor of a hollow hero (Tim) with his girlfriend (guest Maggie Smith) in attendance; ham actress Mundane (Carol) finds out about husband Funt's (Harvey) affair with another actress (Maggie) just as they're about to go on stage; Vicki sings "The Other Woman"; a parody of "Jaws"; and a salute to Alan Jay Lerner.

Episode 7

The Pointer Sisters

Sat, Oct 25, 197522 mins

Highlights include: a sketch about a rock music disc jockey (Harvey), with Tim as an Elton John-type performer, and featuring guests The Pointer Sisters; Mickey Hart (Tim) joins Eunice, Ed and Mama in a game of charades in "The Family"; Carol and Tim in a silent sketch as a hungry couple; a bartender makes jokes of a broken-hearted customer's every remark; The Pointers sing "How Long?", and are joined by Carol and Vicki on "Get Me to the Church on Time".

Episode 8

Roddy McDowall

Sat, Nov 1, 197522 mins

Highlights of this edition with guest Roddy McDowall include: Vicki and Tim perform a musical comedy routine to the tune of "For Once in My Life"; Carol and Roddy perform a tongue-twisting number that leads into "Moses Supposes", then play a bickering couple who work at an assembly line; Harvey and Tim as truck drivers dealing with divorce; and a spoof of "The Little Foxes" with Carol in the Bette Davis role and Roddy in the role of the invalid whom she's plotting to kill.

Episode 9

Helen Reddy

Sat, Nov 8, 197560 mins

Highlights include: guest Helen Reddy sings "Ain't No Way to Treat a Lady", joins the cast in a series of musical blackouts, and participates in a sketch about an extramarital affair endangered by a surprise call on a futuristic TV phone. Also: a woman struggles with so-called "easy openers" on household appliances; fortune cookie messages start a battle between friends; and a French marine explorer sends his assistant out on a hunt for a deadly white squid.

Episode 10

Dame Maggie Smith

Sat, Nov 15, 197522 mins

Highlights include: Eunice, Ed, and Mama have a conference with Bubba's teacher Miss Collins (guest Maggie Smith) in "The Family"; a consumer protection official doesn't notice that his own kitchen is crumbling around him; and Tim, as the World's Oldest Living Doctor, attempts to make a house call.

Episode 11

Betty White

Sat, Nov 22, 197522 mins

Highlights include: Eunice's snooty sister Ellen (guest Betty White) comes for a visit for Mama's birthday in "The Family"; a bug wreaks havoc on a second honeymoon; German car salesmen get pointers in pushing sales; and a salute to marching bands, with a performance by the Locke High School Band of Los Angeles.

Episode 12

The Pointer Sisters

Sat, Nov 29, 197522 mins

Highlights of this edition with guests The Pointer Sisters include: a rock opera, "Cinderella Gets It On".

Episode 13

Eydie Gorme

Sat, Dec 6, 197522 mins

Highlights include: aging acting teacher Stella Toddler is placed in a hospital room next to a famous actress (guest Eydie Gormé); parodies of television commercials for household products; and a salute to the music of composer Richard Rodgers.

Episode 14

Jessica Walter

Sat, Dec 13, 197522 mins

Highlights include: guest Jessica Walter performing "Could It Be Magic"; and a salute to composer Dorothy Fields.

Episode 15

Steve Lawrence

Sat, Dec 20, 197560 mins

Highlights include: "Flora" (spoof of 1944 film noir classic "Laura", with Carol in the Gene Tierney role); Tim as the old man attempts to run a shoe store; and a salute to composer Sammy Cahn.

Episode 16

Rita Moreno

Sat, Jan 3, 197622 mins

Highlights include: guest Rita Moreno as a nurse whose clumsiness makes her patient (Carol) appear more accident-prone than she actually is; a bank robber and his trainee hold up a bank teller and her trainee; a princess (Vicki) plans to marry the Hollow Hero (Tim) over her parents' (Carol, Harvey) objections; a treasonous sergeant is literally stripped of his rank; Rita performs a musical number with the dancers, "Some Cats Know"; and another set of TV commercial parodies.

Episode 17

Steve Lawrence Career Couple/Riddles/Mrs. Wiggins and Charlie

Sat, Jan 10, 197622 mins

Highlights include: a salute to Universal Studios with parodies of such films as "Freud" and "Rooster Cogburn"; Carol as an old-fashioned woman; Mr. Tudball (Tim) has a time teaching Mrs. Wiggins (Carol) how to use the office's new intercom system; guest Steve Lawrence sings "In the Still of the Night"; a woman (Carol) is driven crazy by riddles; and for the close, a salute to Glenn Miller.

Episode 18

Emmett Kelly and The Jackson 5

Sat, Jan 24, 197622 mins

Highlights include: "A Swiped Life" (spoof of "A Stolen Life", with Carol in both of the roles played in the original film by Bette Davis, and Harvey in Glenn Ford's role); a political sketch with Harvey as a senator, Carol as his unpredictable wife, and Tim as his campaign manager; guests The Jackson 5 perform "Forever Came Today", and are joined by Vicki on "Body Language"; and Carol as the Charwoman in a three-ring circus, pantomiming with guest Emmett Kelly and singing "It's Only a Paper Moon" and "Look for the Silver Lining".

Episode 19

The Pointer Sisters: Strictly for the Birds/Fun in a Drugstore/The Cruise

Sat, Jan 31, 197660 mins

Highlights include: the first female clown with Ringling Brothers/Barnum & Bailey Circus giving Carol a Doctorate in Clown Humanities during the open; Carol as a deranged bag lady feeding pigeons in the park "for peace"; guests The Pointer Sisters perform "That's A-Plenty"; a robber (Harvey) sneaks into a hospital, demanding treatment at gunpoint from a nurse (Vicki) and her boyfriend (Tim), the latter of whom he wrongly assumes to be a doctor; Carol, Vicki and the Pointers perform a medley of "Fats" Waller songs; Tim as a pharmacist tending to a heart patient (Harvey) with a prescription, mixing a concoction that has nothing to do with what was ordered; and for the close, an elaborate musical number with the lyrics consisting of the Declaration of Independence.

Episode 20

Susan Strasberg

Sat, Feb 7, 197622 mins

Highlights of this "family show" include: "The Family" go to an expensive restaurant; the world's oldest living sheriff (Tim) is on the hunt for a notorious bandit; a sketch with Mr. Tudball and Mrs. Wiggins; Vicki as a telephone switchboard operator; a license plate applicant encounters an archetypal bureaucrat from the DMV; and a musical dance number set to "There Once Was a Man".

Episode 21

The Family/Joanne Woodward

Sat, Feb 14, 197651 mins

Highlights include: guest Joanne Woodward plays an old school chum of Eunice's in "The Family"; a wealthy couple (Vicki, Harvey) have an argument through their servants (Carol, Tim); Mr. Tudball again has a time teaching his secretary Mrs. Wiggins the workings of the office intercom; two wallflowers (Carol, Joanne) at a dance sing "Let's Be Buddies" and "Why Can't I?"; and for the finale, Carol, Vicki and Joanne perform "Everything Old Is New Again", wearing turn-of-the-century dresses and sun hats.

Episode 22

Tony Randall and Dick Van Dyke

Sat, Feb 21, 197660 mins

Highlights include: a traveling encyclopedia salesman (guest Dick Van Dyke) tries to peddle his wares at the home of a bickering couple (Carol, Harvey); guest Tony Randall performs "Madeira, M'Dear?"; two men (Tony, Dick) argue over a $10 loan while on vacation in Hawaii; Dick performs "Ballin' the Jack" with the dancers; a couple (Carol, Tony) have an argument over body signals; and a mini-musical based on the lyrics of Ira Gershwin.

Episode 23

Jack Klugman

Sat, Mar 6, 197660 mins

Highlights include: guest Jack Klugman as a skeptic in a sketch about an amateur clairvoyant; a new employee is welcomed to an extremely cramped office; Carol does all the talking in a sketch relating to a battle of the sexes; and a clumsy cat burglar (Tim) tries to steal the world's largest diamond.

Episode 24

The Family/The Digs

Sat, Mar 13, 197622 mins

Highlights of this season-finale "family show" include: Ed gets huge flak from Eunice and Mama after he tries to sneak his assistant along on a business trip to Chicago in "The Family"; Mr. Tudball attempts to surprise Mrs. Wiggins on her birthday; a married couple takes to pinpointing each other's physical defects; and the dancers perform to "Baby Face".