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That '70s Show Season 5 Episodes
Season 5 Episode Guide
25 Episodes 2002 - 2003
Episode 1
Going to California
Tue, Sep 17, 200222 mins
Eric sleeps until noon, then concentrates on his bowel movements until Kitty reports that Donna has phoned. In California Donna bitchily tries to ruin Kelso's relationship with dumb-blonde Malibu surfer girl Annette by nagging about Jackie. Eric's parents forbid him to go, but Hyde buys a ticket from his secretly stashed-away money and promises to cover for him, but actually hooks up with Jackie, who later rats on him. Once reunited, the lovebirds, wanting to go straight back home, commandeer poor Kelso and his van--but Annette wouldn't put out anyway.
Episode 2
I Can't Quit You Babe
Tue, Sep 24, 200222 mins
As punishment for their running away to California, Eric loses his car keys and Donna is henceforth sent to a strict Catholic girls school, Our Lady Of Perpetual Sorrow, the only good part of which is the sexy uniform; Eric's offer of a crumb cake fails to change dad Bob's mind. Donna guesses Jackie has another when she dumps her collection of gifts from Michael Kelso, then walks in with Eric on Hyde and Jackie kissing on the couch; both lie about how it started but the basement feels 'soiled'.
Episode 3
What Is and What Should Never Be
Tue, Oct 29, 200222 mins
Eric and next Donna demand Hyde and Jackie either break up or tell Kelso. Kitty proudly announces to be pregnant, happy even with morning sickness, and goes extremely clucky; Red is clearly horrified and can't understand that or how she is, but after even Eric vigorously chooses her side and tells dad to be a man, Red ends up accepting his Corvette will have to be sold. Eric made Hyde take Kelso to the vehicle license registration 'to catch up about the summer', where Fez admires the equally crappy treatment of all races, but Hyde can't bring himself to spill the beans, so Michael still ends up finding out accidentally.
Episode 4
Heartbreaker
Tue, Oct 29, 200222 mins
Now Michael Kelso has found out about Jackie and Hyde, he's crushed and out for vengeance - alas his attacks on friend Steven have the same sad result as always, a black eye for poor Kelso. Kitty is walking on clouds because of her pregnancy, so she invites her parents over, alcoholic Burt Sigurdson and commands-shouting Bea Sigurdson, but the gynecologist changed her big news: she's not expecting but entering menopause; one day too late for otherwise relieved Red: his 'baby' the Corvette is already sold.
Episode 5
Ramble On
Tue, Nov 12, 200222 mins
Donna gives Eric a 'man ring', a horror in male eyes, probably to blame on dad Bob's bad taste, and accidentally loses it. Fez actually applies for a job in the Wisconsin Department of Motor Vehicles, where the ring turns out to be his only, even decisive advantage in the female recruiter's eyes: he's hired! Kitty can't handle menopause, her mood-swings get even worse. Eric and Donna wade through the bog of loving lies between men and women.
Episode 6
Over the Hills and Far Away
Tue, Nov 19, 200222 mins
Red considers Kitty's menopause the worst threat since the Korean war. For college orientation day, the Foremans drive the boys -Michael Kelso brings a note from his parents pinned on his lapel, but spent the $30 on a video-game- to state college UW, Bob decided Donna must go to private Marquette with Jackie. Being apart is a depressing prospect, but while Red is shocked by the 'hippies' the kids love the colleges, only Hyde and Jackie are miserable as they play stupid power games. Donna decides to go to UW just for Eric's sake.
Episode 7
Hot Dog
Tue, Nov 26, 200222 mins
Kitty's menopause still makes life at the Forman house miserable, so Red gives her an orphan lap dog. In no time Schotzie is her favorite 'baby', making Red even more miserable. Eric is so grateful for Donna being prepared to join him at college for the next four years that he decides to get her a cool gift, and after some hesitations even considers a wedding ring. The other basement gang boys decide that thought deserves wearing the stupid helmet. Yet, when Donna drags out of him what his intentions were...
Episode 8
Thank You
Tue, Dec 3, 200222 mins
Thanksgiving Day 1978, Eric hides the fact that he's failing math from Red. Red thinks Eric's changed and matured so he gives Eric sister Laurie's usually reserved seat at the table. This compliment makes Eric feel it's a perfect time to reveal his engagement to Donna to all. Kelso makes this difficult by showing up for dinner, on a date, with Ms. McGee, Eric's math teacher, who is a decade older than Michael. Kitty's parents, arriving from Phoenix, only add to the chaos.
Episode 9
Black Dog
Tue, Dec 10, 200222 mins
The news Jackie's dad councilman Burkhart had to resign after embezzlement charges convinces Kelso she'll soon be running back to home for a comforting shoulder, as Steven's remains as cold as his heart. 'Perfect couple' Eric and Donna finds they disagree whether the way to go is closeness or giving space, and asking the equally divided Forman parents only causes another menopause-crisis... Fez enjoys bossy boss Nina giving him a stern lesson in fingerprints-taking, but the ink leaves its black mark on her and a part of him he normally only touches, a lot... Kelso has dug up his pallet gun from his garden, which was buried after he accidentally killed -till now oblivious- Eric's hamster; now Hyde's taunting coincides with another involuntary shot, and the fiend -who constantly punches his poor pall's arm black and blue- pretends to be hit in the deceptively patched eye till Michael, who fears to have shot 'accidentally on purpose', hands it over penitentially for undeserved corporal punishment aimed at the beaut-boy's butt...
Episode 10
The Crunge
Tue, Dec 17, 200222 mins
Eric is mortified when he and, thanks to Kitty's ignorance about the rating system, everybody else, learn his SAT score is by far the worst of the basement gang. Disappointed dad Red makes Eric realize drooling for Donna is bad for his results, and he's determined to redeem himself, for starters by taking the SATs again, and asks dad to ground him; Donna is furious at him because his real aim is to do better then she. The others start dreaming about a fine future, Kelso even takes up reading, but Hyde refuses to apply himself to anything and convinces Jackie she should become their provider, while Fez is no longer content to be everyone's servant.
Episode 11
The Girl I Love
Tue, Jan 7, 200322 mins
When Fez finally agrees to present his DMV girlfriend Nina to the gang, Kitty decides to give a formal dinner party, just when Red wanted to see an annual TV challenge special, Battle of the Network Stars. Eric and Hyde object to their girls making them come; when Jackie even wants Steven to wear decent cloths, he really refuses, so she accepts an invitation from her ex Kelso, who wasn't allowed to come alone. All the men soon run off from the horribly boring party. The boys' last hope to hold out against a girl is Fez- even Kelso knows better.
Episode 12
Misty Mountain Hop
Wed, Jan 22, 200322 mins
With Jackie's dad in prison for bribery, he is now broke and the bank foreclosed on his cabin so Kitty elects her, Red, Eric, and Donna to help Jackie clean out the cabin. Jackie doesn't want Hyde to know so she tells him she tells him she's going to a doll expo. Hyde takes this as an opportunity to go to Jackie's dad's cabin with Kelso and Fez for a guy's weekend.
Episode 13
Your Time Is Gonna Come
Wed, Jan 29, 200322 mins
Annette, Kelso's girlfriend from his and Donna's California exile, comes to visit Kelso but stays with Donna, who insists that Jackie must join them. Jealous Jackie hates Annette like bubonic plague, but seems to warm to her, until... Meanwhile, Kitty's parents turn up unannounced from Arizona: Burt has lost all their money on an ostrich farm which got wiped out by coyotes, then has a fatal heart attack while sneakily watching the girls' slumber party like one of the boys. Grandmother as merry widow is a grim prospects for the Formans.
Episode 14
Babe I'm Gonna Leave You
Wed, Feb 5, 200322 mins
After Jackie cries "Get off my boyfriend!" when Annette kisses Kelso at a funeral, Eric regrets missing an embarrassment that even "verbally cuckolded" Hyde can't ignore; Michael risks his hide rubbing it in with Steven and enjoys being desired by both girls again as they almost fight for the beautiful boy, even if Annette bosses him around like Jackie did. Eric's grandma's crudeness makes Kitty's menopause even worse, so she flees in bed to Red's growing despair, but Eric takes it as a compliment when Donna seems to be considered a bad catch for him, yet it soon gets on their nerves that nothing gets through her casual armor. Somehow Jackie and Hyde choose each other again and Annette decides to return to California.
Episode 15
When the Levee Breaks
Wed, Feb 12, 200322 mins
Donna's dad and his partner Joanne are off for a weekend getaway, so Eric and Donna plan a weekend together to prove to themselves that they're adult enough to be engaged. The gang is determined to throw a party at Donna's, and are unforgiving when Donna refuses. Meanwhile, a call from the jeweler makes Kitty think Red is buying her a present, but she finds out the ring is from Eric to Donna while taking 'poor orphan' Hyde shopping for a new coat, which Hyde hates--an Evis-style flashy jacket that looks nothing like Hyde's style. Kitty tries to prevent Red from finding out about the engagement, but Eric lets it slip in anger during one of Red's tirades. The cat's outta the bag--Donna and Eric's engagement is no longer secret.
Episode 16
Whole Lotta Love
Wed, Feb 19, 200322 mins
Now their parents know and worry about Eric and Donna's engagement, Eric is terrified and shunned by Red, Donna goes plead their case. Fez' boss and lover Nina decides to clear the air and his tension at work by asking him to stay for the night, all the way; when he reports to the gang, its sounds all but romantic or efficient, but Nina has her own conclusion. Hyde didn't even know about Jackie's birthday, Kelso gives her a perfect sweater. Eric claims he'll marry Donna even if he must pay the wedding himself, Red fires him...
Episode 17
The Battle of Evermore
Thu, Feb 20, 200322 mins
Since Red ruined Erics life for getting engaged, their rowing gets worse for weeks, even chases the gang away. Kitty signs them up for a charity father-son Point Place Paul Bunyan pioneer event; they still fight and get creamed by Charlie and Mitch, an apparently perfect pair; as events progress the team' temperaments seem to get reversed, but at the end -a loss- nothing has really changed. Hyde doesn't believe Leo has just disappeared, so the gang look for him in his apartment; the new tenant has a note and a gift for Steven...
Episode 18
Hey Hey What Can I Do
Wed, Mar 12, 200322 mins
Now most kids are out of a job income, they all head for the job fair, Eric and Hyde being fired, Kelso after getting a ticket from a female cop made him doubt if his looks will last, Donna as 'hot' appetizer for her radio station. Red raises the stakes: if Eric sticks to marrying Donna, he'll stop the dumb ass's college funding. Most available jobs are revolting, yet Hyde becomes cook for his former 'big brother', a worse social cripple then him; Kelso decides to become a cop because the uniform would prolong his beauty many years. Eric found a bank teller's job, but loses it because of a bad reference... .
Episode 19
Bring It on Home
Wed, Mar 26, 200322 mins
The Formans thought they heard a burglar- it's Hyde and Jackie sleeping on the basement couch-bed, because her mother has left too. Red discovers Eric sleeps in the bare and starts calling the boy 'Mr. Nude' thrice in every sentence. Donna regrets pleading Jackie should be helped when Red stops Kitty volunteering as usual and Bob decides to invite her to share Donna's room. Against everyone's advice as he makes a bad first impression, Fez gets a beauty treatment from Kelso and goes to meet lover Nina's parents, who are friendly till he states being her boyfriend, then is rejected as not white enough.
Episode 20
No Quarter
Wed, Apr 2, 200322 mins
The Pinciottis learn very quickly that living with Jackie is going to be difficult. Kelso swipes Jackie's panties to taunt Hyde, who has his revenge when Kelso gets a job at the hotel kitchen where Hyde works. Eric receives notice that he must return Donna's engagement ring if he can't make a payment by Friday. His visits to the jewelry store reveal that there's bad blood between Fez and Fenton, the jewelry guy.
Episode 21
Trampled Under Foot
Wed, Apr 9, 200322 mins
The basement gang realizes their lives, conversations and routine are boringly repetitive, so they consider inviting a new member, but Kitty forces upon Eric Lance Crawford, a creepy kid, just because she's after his mother's peach cobbler recipe, but he came prepared... Nina tells Fez she 'needs time, but it's not his fault', the gang translates she's dumping him unless he can make her jealous by playing aloof, but when that finally works...
Episode 22
You Shook Me
Wed, Apr 16, 200322 mins
Hyde, his boss Roy and Kelso do the catering for Kitty's Annual Nurses Convention, where erotic fantasies run wild, even with Kitty; alas in Fez's the nurse turns into Kelso, which makes both boys doubt their heterosexuality, and Hyde catches Kelso resting his weary head on Jackie's 'understanding' shoulder - maybe he should accept an offer from another girl? Eric enthusiastically accepts Bob and Joanne's job offer, made to help out Donna, before he realizes it's in the dreaded dog-food factory, as 'coupon liaison', which alas is just a fancy title. When Red says they're ready to get married next week, that doesn't feel so romantic...
Episode 23
Nobody's Fault But Mine
Wed, Apr 23, 200322 mins
Kelso sees Hyde kissing another girl in the hotel; Hyde doesn't even deny it, but still can't believe the 'gay nurse dream' till Fez confirms it, in the presence of mean school-paper editor Mitch Miller whom Fez just denied a driver's license, and Miller jumps at the chance for blackmail. Jackie dumps Hyde when he confesses his cheating and Kelso announces he'll court her again. Red and Kitty keep pressing the early wedding, Eric and Donna realize they're not nearly ready, but shatter Kitty coming up with a third solution: moving to Madison after graduation. Eric's nasty sister Laurie is back from Chicago, apparently reformed...
Episode 24
Immigrant Song
Wed, May 7, 200322 mins
Kitty flips out when Red has a change of heart and tells Eric and Donna that they can leave with his blessing. A fall from the water tower leads to a brief truce between Kelso and Hyde. And Fez gets busted as he vandalizes the water tower for a senior prank.
Episode 25
Celebration Day
Wed, May 14, 200322 mins
Fez dreads impending graduation as he probably must return to his lizard-infested country afterward, so he gets Kelso and Hyde to observe a truce in their Jacky-war to join both on a camping trip by the lake with the whole gang, plus Eric's stupid sister Laurie. Kitty is on heavy tranquilizers as she can't handle her 'baby boy' moving out. After a failed ghost prank by the campfire Eric was to skinny-dip with Donna, but ends up screaming butt-naked with Laurie, who next does it in Kelso's van with Fez, who gets even more out of it then sex... Kelso and Hyde's rivalry for Jackie comes to a near fistfight, until she calls out that "it's no fun for me anymore!" The pair realizes that she's been playing them against each other as revenge for their awful treatment of her over the years, and they demand she finally chooses. Next morning they all oversleep and the van is stolen, so the parents are terribly disappointed the kids all miss their own graduation ceremony...
