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Schitt's Creek Season 5 Episodes
Season 5 Episode Guide
14 Episodes 2019 - 2019
Episode 1
The Crowening
Sat, Jan 19, 201922 mins
Moira is in Bosnia filming "The Crows Have Eyes III" which she sees as her comeback into the public spotlight. The movie's director, Blair, sees the project as schlock, just work to pay for his next vacation, especially as he has had some big budget studio movies as part of his recent resume. Moira has three options: quit and go home; try to convince Blair that they can make something substantial out of the project; or make the script changes on her own without Blair's approval. This overseas filming is the longest Johnny and Moira have ever been apart. With all this Moira-less time on his hands, Johnny goes on a tear trying to fix every little thing wrong at the motel, namely doing Roland's work. Can Johnny see that he is misdirecting his energies and in reality really misses his wife? And Alexis finds out that David has failed a relationship quiz in a women's magazine, while she passed it with flying colors. She states that one of the secrets of the strength of her and Ted's relationship is going on regular adventure dates, the next one on which she invites David as a double date. David has to convince Patrick to go on the date without telling him why. If David is able to do so, he may regret it in not remembering the adventure part.
Episode 2
Love Letters
22 mins
Running purely on the adrenaline of no sleep for three days in the arduous trip back from Bosnia in addition to taking an upper of questionable origin to cope with the trip, Moira has developed not only a case of insomnia but hyperactivity. In needing something to do, she discovers nestled next to their bed on Johnny's side a bunch a racy love letters written to him from someone not her. Moira shows the letters to a bunch of people in an effort to get them on her side if anything were to happen to them as a couple. The one person she probably should have asked is Johnny, who could have explained the nature of the letters to her and why he left them in such an obvious place for her to find. One of the people to who she shows the letters is a grossed-out Alexis. In the process, Alexis and Ted have a discussion about romantic mementos that each has kept of the other from their first time as a couple. One of the things Alexis says she has kept is a locket Ted gave her, but which in reality she has since regifted. Alexis has to try and find a way to get the locket back in not being shown a liar. And Rose Apothecary is held up by someone wearing a balaclava, with David and Stevie the only two other people in the store at the time. As David and Stevie reflect on the incident after the fact, they may not want to disclose to anyone, let alone the police who they will have to inform if the store can collect on the insurance, about what really happened.
Episode 3
The Plant
22 mins
Alexis is able to secure a reservation at the motel for Emir Kaplan, an influential travel blogger specializing in writing about places and things off the beaten path. Beyond giving him extra special treatment, what Alexis, Johnny, Stevie and Roland decide to do as a team is a "hire" a plant as a fellow motel guest to talk up the greatness of the motel to him. With no money actually to hire someone to do this, they decide Stevie would be the best person in this role. Although nervous about doing it, Stevie ends up being good in the job, perhaps a little too good. Meanwhile, one too many interruptions by Ray leads to Patrick deciding that it's time for him and David to look for another apartment together. Alexis is able to convince David, despite not being totally convinced that they're ready, to take this step in moving in with Patrick. David has to balance his feelings about the first apartment they view, which Patrick loves but David hates, against not making it seem like he doesn't want to take this step with Patrick. And Jocelyn is feeling overwhelmed in meeting her commitments outside of the home, especially in preparing for an important Jazzagals performance, against her first priority of the baby. The actions of her fellow choir members may make Jocelyn feel like the one left out.
Episode 4
The Dress
22 mins
With finances already tight, Johnny is hit with a couple of unexpected bills. One is repair of the motel's hot water tank, which if he brought in a professional as Roland suggests instead of trying to fix it himself to save money, may lead to learning that the tank needs to be replaced in its entirety. The other, which is more discretionary in nature, is a $3,700 discounted couture, albeit off the rack, gown that Moira has just purchased to wear at the premiere - whenever it may be - of "The Crows Have Eyes III", the premiere at which she needs to look good as her reintroduction to the world of celebrity. Moira's expenses are not limited to the gown but also things to keep it looking pristine until the premiere. Johnny tries to drop hint after hint to Moira that they really can't afford such a gown, the question being if Moira will pick up the hints, and if she does if she will pay attention to them. Meanwhile, on Stevie's suggestion, she and David are driving to Elm Valley to do a tour of the botanical gardens during cherry blossom time, viewing cherry blossoms which has always been therapeutic for David. Stevie has brought David to Elm Valley on false pretenses, she who has no intention of going to the gardens at all, the trip which is a prearranged booty call encounter with Emir who is reviewing the hotel at which they will be staying. David and Stevie have to decide what to do as one item after another changes both their plans. And Alexis can feel the dislike emanating from Ted's temporary associate, Shannon, who went to vet college with Ted. When Alexis learns the story behind why Shannon is feeling the way she probably does, Alexis tries to diffuse the situation. In the process, it becomes a he said/she said/she said in Ted, Shannon and Alexis each having a different and conflicting point.
Episode 5
Housewarming
22 mins
Patrick is having a housewarming party he is planning without David's help, the latter who expects it to fail because of it. It doesn't help from David's perspective that Patrick's party theme is high school slumber party instead of the slightly inaccessible higher class theme David had in mind. But in the way of many high school parties, an incident happens during the course of one of the party games between David and an extremely drunk Ted, who has decided to let loose in needing to stay sober for the rest of the week due to an extremely busy work schedule, that is construed to be akin to friends crossing the line, which affects Patrick and Alexis in particular. Meanwhile, Jocelyn and Roland have asked almost everyone in town if they would be willing to babysit, that almost which excludes Johnny and Moira. Offended that Jocelyn and Roland asked others right in front of them, Johnny ends up offering his and Moira's babysitting services, unaware that Moira already has plans for the evening which she is unwilling to forgo. But Moira does end up staying in with Johnny. The evening will demonstrate if they could have been hands-on parents to David and Alexis in their baby years.
Episode 6
Rock On!
22 mins
The Jazzagals, on Jocelyn's initiative, are going to the Poison rock concert being held at the casino. If only because of how important the concert seemed to be for Jocelyn considering that it is one night out away from the baby, they are dismayed to tell her that the concert has been postponed due to the venue being double booked. To give Jocelyn that night out, they decide to go to the casino anyway. The rock concert may have been more important to Jocelyn than she originally let on, the reason for its importance which Moira tries to satisfy in some other way. Meanwhile, Johnny, back to the motel earlier than expected from running an errand, catches Stevie on a break being intimate with Emir on her phone. Johnny and Stevie have to figure out how to deal with this incident, especially considering Johnny having recently had a workplace professionalism session with Stevie and Roland. And across the store in plain sight of David, a cute twenty-something male customer gives Patrick his telephone number. While Patrick just wants to bask in the adoration, David feels that Patrick may need to get other men out of his system now and encourages Patrick to go out on a date with "Ken". After speaking to Alexis, David may regret giving Patrick this freedom, especially as no ground rules were laid for the date.
Episode 7
A Whisper of Desire
22 mins
Ted's mother is coming to town for an impromptu visit. Johnny's surprised to see she's lost a lot of weight and has a new joy of life. Johnny'splaced between a rock and hard place. Johnny's apprehension is increased when he discovers she and her current husband are now separated, Meanwhile, Jocelyn's directing a community theater production of Cabaret. Finding out about it, Moira can't help but insert herself into the production as she considers Cabaret her first stage success which led to her stint in show business. . With Patrick auditioning, David's left by himself at the store. His day takes a turn when Roland brings Roland Jr. in, and has to leave the baby at the store while he tends an emergency. Roland Jr.'s presence at the store affects the important business meeting
Episode 8
The Hospies
22 mins
Johnny and Stevie are heading to Elmdale for the Regional Hospitality Awards - the Hospies - they, on behalf of the motel, up for a customer service award. Knowing that Emir will be at the awards, Stevie decides to make the getaway not just a quickie one-dayer with Emir, but a couple of day sojourn with him to his next couple of motels. Stevie hopes this getaway will take their relationship to the next level. Meanwhile, Jocelyn and Moira have casted all the roles for Cabaret, except for Sally Bowles, with the known options little to zero, that is until Alexis, who is already doing the publicity for the show, volunteers to assume the role. Moira seems to do whatever she can to prevent Alexis from even auditioning, which may ultimately place Jocelyn in a difficult position. And because they have opened up the store for community events, David and Patrick have decided to hire Ronnie to upgrade the store's bathroom for public use. But when the renovations seem to be stalled with the front of store under tarp after tarp, Patrick feels he has to put down his foot with Ronnie, which may only exacerbate the problem.
Episode 9
The M.V.P.
22 mins
It's the championship baseball game between the team representing Café Tropical versus the team representing Bob's Garage, captained by Patrick and Ronnie respectively. There is already bad blood between the two stemming from the bathroom remodel, each who will do whatever required to beat the other. They don't want to tell the other that they are each down a player which would mean forfeiting the game. They are each able to recruit a replacement, they being for the respective teams: a very reluctant David, who has no skill or want to play any sort of team sport, and a very enthusiastic Johnny, who actually does know how to play. Against their team captains, David and Johnny may have other goals for the game besides winning. Meanwhile, it's the first rehearsal for Cabaret. An already uncomfortable Stevie feels even more out of her element when they start the rehearsal with warm up exercises, including some improvisation games. Moira and the others have to find ways to make Stevie feel more at ease or risk the show being a failure.
Episode 10
Roadkill
22 mins
To allow her to decompress from the intensive Cabaret rehearsals, Johnny is taking Moira out for a spa day. Their out of town trip hits a snag when Moria, distracting Johnny when he's driving, leads to him running over a cat. Johnny wants to do the right thing and find the owner to tell him or her that they killed their cat. In doing so, Johnny and Moira get into what they consider a downward spiral in dealing with the owner and her family. Stevie's day away from rehearsals takes her and David to the flea market, where they will have a Rose Apothecary booth. At the flea market, they run into Wendy, David's old boss from the Blouse Barn, she, newly engaged, testing a concept for a store she and her partner, Antonio, are thinking of opening. Despite Wendy and Antonio's both doing booming business, David, in recognizing Antonio, sees that Wendy, as she was in the past, is still blind to things happening right in front of her eyes. And with David at the flea market and Patrick away at a seminar, David has asked Alexis to mind the store in only expecting a courier package. Ted's unexpected arrival at the store leads to Alexis' mind being taken anywhere but the one and only task she has this day.
Episode 11
Meet the Parents
22 mins
It's Patrick's birthday. Despite hating them himself, David is throwing Patrick a surprise party as Patrick has always wanted but has never had one. One bigger surprise is that David has invited Patrick's parents. The day of the party, David learns some associated pieces of information which may not only affect how the party comes off, but his and Patrick's relationship altogether. Without ruining the surprise, David has to figure out how to deal with the information. Meanwhile, Alexis, without previously telling her, has arranged for Moira to appear at a soap opera fan convention. Moira balks at the idea, having previously resisted appearing at any such event feeling it beneath her. Beyond the need to raise some money to overcome the debt associated with putting on Cabaret, Moira may have a change of heart when she meets an old soap opera colleague, Gloria Gregson, and learns about her recent life.
Episode 12
The Roast
22 mins
With Moira, in directing Cabaret, not understanding the limitations of amateurs, Patrick and Stevie, unable to nail a Moira choreographed dance number, have had to resort to taking dance lessons, which, if she found out, Moira would consider a betrayal to her. As such, a less than happy David has been tasked with keeping Moira preoccupied whenever Patrick and Stevie are having their dance lessons, which may be more difficult for what is Patrick and Stevie's final lesson. With Moira preoccupied with the show, she is unable to be one of the roasters at the annual Mayor's Roast, about which Roland is dismayed as he always appreciates Moira's zingers aimed at him. Johnny volunteers to fill in for Moira, he who has to find the right balance of being funny without going over the line. As opposed to being over the line, he is as far away from the line as he could get as a starting point. And Ted has been accepted into a prestigious research program in the Galapagos Islands for six months. As the Galapagos are not exactly Alexis' cup of tea, she and Ted have to figure out what to do about the opportunity and their relationship.
Episode 13
The Hike
22 mins
Moira is looking for people to do some grunt work in preparation for the show. With David scheduled to go on a picnic with Patrick and Alexis meeting with Ted to plan for their move to the Galapagos Islands, most of the proverbial and literal heavy lifting falls on Johnny's shoulders. Johnny shows how aging those shoulders are as he suffers a tightness in his chest in the process, prompting those around him to take him to the emergency room. Standing vigil, Moira, Stevie and Roland reflect on what is important in their lives with respect to Johnny. Meanwhile, David's vision of the Patrick planned picnic isn't quite the same as what Patrick had planned, as where Patrick had planned to hold the picnic requires a long hike, both needing to carry heavy backpacks for all that David wanted to eat. The issue of the hike is only the first "misstep" in the day for the two of them. And outwardly, Alexis is warming to the idea of the Galapagos, but her and Ted's encounter with Twyla may only be a convenient excuse for Alexis to express how she truly feels.
Episode 14
Life Is a Cabaret
22 mins
It's the day of the show, and beyond the show itself, big things are happening to certain members of the Rose family. After the actual ask just yesterday, David and Patrick have decided to tell the world about their engagement at the show after party, not wanting to take the spotlight off the show beforehand. And Ted is heading off to the Galapagos tonight, with Alexis following next week if only because of her participation in the show. Johnny lets Alexis know in no uncertain terms how much he doesn't want her to go only in missing her. The focus of the day turns back to the show when at the last minute Stevie goes missing. David may know the reason and he has to gauge what to say as divulging all could ruin the surprise about the engagement.
