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Schitt's Creek Season 3 Episodes
Season 3 Episode Guide
13 Episodes 2017 - 2017
Episode 1
Opening Night
21 mins
David and Stevie learn that they are both in a sexual relationship with Jake, which catches them both off guard. While they want to appear cool in being all right with the situation while in reality they are uncomfortable with it, they can't help wonder if there are more of them out there that they don't know about. Moira is attending her first town council meeting as a councilor. She treats it like the theater, where she believes the main goal of councilors is to keep the people in the gallery in their seats instead of leaving at any point during the meeting. In the process of learning what the true purpose of a council meeting is, Moira may learn the fine art of being a politician: talking but not really saying anything. As Mutt and Tennessee are planning on taking an overnight drive, Mutt asks Alexis to take care of the barn while they're away. None of Mutt, Tennessee, Alexis or Ted may ultimately feel comfortable with the interaction between the four of them concerning the situation. And Bob has rented out what was Johnny's office space to someone else. Using the café instead as his office to take a meeting that doesn't go quite the way he wants, Johnny begins to feel emasculated as the only one within the Rose family that is not bringing in a steady income.
Episode 2
The Throuple
22 mins
Johnny offers to help out an injured Twyla by waiting tables at the café, but soon gets in over his head. Alexis and Moira make a plan to have lunch, despite the fact that they're both anxious about spending time alone together. David and Stevie try to figure out the boundaries of their three-way relationship with Jake.
Episode 3
New Car
22 mins
Johnny decides to buy a new car, and he and Moira craft an increasingly elaborate ruse to avoid getting gouged by the dealership. David accompanies Stevie as she says goodbye to her great-aunt and confronts her own mortality in the process. Alexis and Ted negotiate the rules of their professional relationship when Ted receives a gift from a female client.
Episode 4
Driving Test
Tue, Jan 31, 201722 mins
As the new owner of the motel, Stevie is in over her head, and Johnny and Moira employ different strategies to discourage Stevie from selling. Meanwhile, Alexis drives a stressed-out David to his driving test, and Alexis finds herself in the unusual position of coaching her older brother.
Episode 5
Rooms by the Hour
Tue, Feb 7, 201722 mins
Johnny innocently rents rooms to a local businesswoman looking to meet clients from a nearby conference, but must do damage control when he learns more about the nature of the woman's business. David helps Moira tape an audition for a horror film, but has trouble keeping his feelings about the script to himself. Alexis convinces Ted that a live stream bunny cam will help advertise the vet clinic. But the discreet camera ends up advertising more than expected.
Episode 6
Murder Mystery
22 mins
Johnny and Stevie visit a nearby golf course to pitch a package deal with the motel, but Johnny becomes distracted by his desire to play a round of golf. After agreeing to attend Twyla's murder mystery party, Moira must help her recruit other guests. Alexis entertains a suggestion from Ted to go back to school.
Episode 7
General Store
22 mins
When David contemplates starting a new business in town, Moira uses her seat on town council to protect her son's interests. Alexis discovers high school isn't as easy as it used to be. Johnny reluctantly offers romantic advice to Ivan, the hapless baker, in return for help with the motel's continental breakfast.
Episode 8
Motel Review
22 mins
While Johnny is off running an errand, Stevie, as per Johnny's instructions, enlists the help of a reluctant Moira to man the front desk during a particularly busy time. Moira is of little help when someone wants to check in, she sloughing off this guest's many requests. Johnny ultimately discovers that Moira's encounter with this guest may have a negative impact on the motel itself. As such, Moira, who is not good at such tasks, has to make amends meaningfully with the guest. Meanwhile, Alexis is accused by Jocelyn of plagiarizing her economics essay. Looking at what she submitted, Alexis cannot argue with Jocelyn's claim, Jocelyn who is giving Alexis a second chance at submitting an original essay. What happened is that without Alexis' knowledge, Johnny rewrote her essay in his effort to help his daughter, something he believes he didn't do her first time around as a student. What may be more problematic for Johnny than trying to help Alexis again as she rewrites her essay is the fact that Jocelyn said the original essay was not that good. And David has to go through the process to get his business incorporated. In dealing with Ray's employee Patrick who handles such incorporation matters, David begins to have doubts about his business plan solely because he can't articulate his thoughts to Patrick, although they are, or at least were crystal clear and perfect in his own mind.
Episode 9
The Affair
22 mins
Moira attends an annual regional municipal association conference in Thornbridge with Roland, the conference where Roland and Schitt's Creek generally get little notice. Making an impassioned speech at the conference leads to Moira and Schitt's Creek being the toast of the event. Encouraged by Roland to build off the momentum of the speech, Moira reluctantly decides to attend the social mixer after the conference sessions of the day. Imbibing just a little too much, a hung over Moira with little remembrance of the past twelve hours or so awakens the next morning face down on the bed in Roland's hotel room, with Roland in his birthday suit also asleep in the bed. Roland assures her that nothing happened between them. What Moira is unaware of is that news of her overnight sleeping locale makes its way back to Johnny via Jocelyn. While Johnny knows that Moira would never do anything purposefully with Roland, the question becomes whether Moira will be up front with him about where she slept and awoke. Meanwhile, Alexis is helping David set up the store, more so that she can test out all the skin care products than actually help him. Someone else who seems to be hanging out at the store a lot while they set up is Patrick. While David believes Patrick's interest is in Alexis, Alexis believes Patrick's interest is either in the store itself or David. The question becomes who is right, and if Alexis is right whether Patrick's interest is in the store or David or both.
Episode 10
Sebastien Raine
21 mins
Moira has set up a meeting in Schitt's Creek with her friend, renowned New York based photographer Sebastien Raine, to discuss a collaboration, which Moira envisions her as the paid subject, the photos to be taken in some exotic locale. What Moira fails to remember - even after being told - is that Sebastien is one of David's old boyfriends, their break-up, at least on David's side, being acrimonious as David finally came to the conclusion that Sebastien is a user. The meeting between Sebastien and Moira and the reunion between Sebastien and David don't go quite according to Moira or David's plans, or do they? Meanwhile, Roland is trying to avoid Bob as Bob is trying to set up his regular poker nights again, which Roland doesn't want to attend. Johnny will find out why as he does go to the first of those poker games with the regulars - Roland, Ronnie and Ray - where the usual happens: Bob wins big. During the proceedings, Johnny comes up with a theory based on what he sees that evening: that Bob, with Gwen's help, is cheating. Telling the other three players of his theory, they decide to test the theory, obviously without Bob or Gwen's knowledge of what they are doing. And Alexis needs some quick volunteer hours, within the next two weeks, as part of her graduation requirements. Ted invites her to accompany him to one of his regular volunteer activities: dance night at a seniors facility. Beyond needing to get over the "ew" factor of dealing with old people, Alexis will find the event to be an illuminating one.
Episode 11
Stop Saying Lice!
Wed, Mar 22, 201722 mins
A lice outbreak at the school has possibly made its way back to the motel via Alexis, who, horrified, definitely is stricken with a case of it. Alexis has to deal with it, but embarrassed by her predicament, tries to pilfer some lice shampoo for dogs from Ted's office rather than go to the store to buy some. As Alexis helped Johnny change the sheets at the motel that morning, Johnny, to be on the safe side, decides to redo all the beds that he and Alexis did, without causing a panic among the guests, which may be easier said than done. And David, as a precautionary measure from any lice infestation at the motel, asks Stevie if he can stay over at her place as a platonic roommate, her apartment where he's never been. She reluctantly agrees. Stevie believes David has a much more welcoming offer when Patrick asks him to stay over at his place, which leads to Stevie and David discussing all that potentially is Patrick in David's life. And Moira learns from the rest of the council members that they want to name a public garden after her. Moira turns down the offer, feeling that she already has enough and more prestigious public legacies named after her, such as a playhouse in Pasadena. Moira is incensed when she learns the impetus behind the garden and its naming. Jocelyn provides her a different perspective on the matter.
Episode 12
Friends & Family
22 mins
David and Patrick's store, Rose Apothecary, is just about ready to open. Patrick wants to do the launch big, with a full page newspaper ad announcing the official opening day among other things. However, David, as the senior partner, makes the ultimate decision of a soft launch, with only family and close friends being officially told and being offered a 25% discount that day. The more and more that David talks to people in town, whether it be about the store or something else, the more that David believes the opening will be nothing like he imagined. Only opening day will tell. Meanwhile, Alexis finds out that she passed her exams, meaning that she has graduated. On the excitement of the moment, Alexis and Ted share a kiss. They have to figure out not only if the kiss means anything, but how they will proceed from that moment. And Moira has discovered something from their past life that was not sold among their possessions and which she has shipped to the motel as a surprise gift for Johnny: a life sized portrait of the family that used to hang in the grand hall of their house. While the oversized portrait does remind Johnny and Moira of their past life, they have to decide if it still represents who they are, for good or bad, let alone where they should hang it that looks appropriate.
Episode 13
Grad Night
22 mins
Alexis announces that her high school graduation ceremony is on Friday, the same day as David's birthday, about which the rest of his family totally forgot. The Roses' Friday gets even more busy when Johnny has to man the front desk of the sold out motel - having no vacancies available a first for their stay in Schitt's Creek - at least until all the guests have checked in, and the Jazzagals are, at the last minute, invited to perform in a festival out of town, with Moira wanting to perform a song which features her. These scheduling conflicts are all right with Alexis, who openly states that she doesn't want her family to attend the ceremony. What Alexis says and what she wants are two totally different things as she comes to the conclusion that this graduation truly marks a turning point in her life as witnessed by a decision she makes about working for Ted. So Alexis scours the crowd at graduation in the slim hope that any of her loved ones will be there to witness this milestone in her life. And David, who was happily going to spend his birthday alone so that he could sulk in peace, is invited to dinner by Patrick at the last minute when he learns that it's his birthday. Feeling like the dinner is supposed to be a party, David invites Stevie. Upon her arrival at the restaurant, Stevie surveys the situation, and based on the gift Patrick gives to David, believes the "party" on Patrick's part was truly meant to be a date between Patrick and David. Only the end of the night will show if Stevie is correct in her assumption.
