My Family Season 5 Episodes

Episode 1

Reloaded

30 mins

Susan is in bed with a broken leg after Ben accidentally reversed the car into her. He brings her Turkish Delight though unfortunately she hates it and, in a series of flashbacks to other shows, they discuss the children - which depresses them - and Abi and Roger's strange attachment. Ben gets up to go but finds he has done his back in so he is stuck on the bed with Susan.

Episode 2

The Mummy Returns

29 mins

Nick moves out and Ben and Susan are overjoyed so they are less than happy when Janey returns - thrown out of university but claiming she dropped out - with Kenzo. Furthermore it seems the police are looking for her, causing Susan to lie on her behalf, though it turns out that the policeman in question is an old flame trying to look her up and even better news comes when she gets her own flat. The couple are however worried by the influence of Michael's religious friend Hubert, who convinces him to become a born-again Christian, requiring a visit to the vicar to put things straight.

Episode 3

You Don't Know Jack

29 mins

Finding Michael's friend Hubert weird Ben is pleased when Michael brings home Jack, a very trendy boy though the arrangement is that, in exchange for Jack being his friend and giving him street cred Michael does his homework. Unlike Abi and Janey Ben cannot see that Jack's increased visits to the house are because he has a crush on Susan and Ben has to disillusion the boy by explaining to him what she is like to live with.

Episode 4

What's Up, Docklands?

Sun, Mar 15, 202629 mins

Susan and Ben agree to flat-sit for a couple of friends in their trendy and expensive Docklands apartment whilst the pair, Geoffrey and Stephanie, are on holiday. However, unused to all the high tech gadgetry in the flat they end up breaking a lot of the appliances and, unable to cook a meal, send out for pizza. The pizza is cold so Ben decides to warm it up but causes a fire so ultimately the Harpers have to lie that there was a break0in and they were tied up.

Episode 5

Luck Be a Lady Tonight

29 mins

Though aware of Roger's attraction to her Abi gets a new boyfriend, who is a male chauvinist pig and wants her to do all his cleaning. Susan suggests Roger find himself a girlfriend to make Abi jealous and he appears with the lovely Sarah. The fact that she is an escort who charges £200 for a date does not deter him as he finds there is no danger of complicated romance with escorts whilst Ben gets worried when Michael decides he should sell the house and starts showing people round.

Episode 6

First Past the Post

29 mins

When the local councillor dies Susan, calling herself Barrington-Harper to attain gravitas, runs as an independent councillor, on issues of street cleaning and speed bumps. She insists on Ben's support but he is more concerned with trying to win the Times Crossword, something at which Roger is very good. Eventually he is pleased to see the name Harper amongst the winners but it turns out that Roger submitted his winning entry in Abi's name. Michael meanwhile acquires a pet tarantula, which he calls Nicola. There is consternation when Nicola disappears - especially as she is pregnant.

Episode 7

My Will Be Done

29 mins

When a contemporary of Susan's dies Ben starts to worry about his own mortality and, thanks to Michael and a look at four life expectancy websites it looks as if he only has sixty-seven days left. He decides to gain a bit of money to leave the children by charging Abi rent but she responds by quoting her tenants' rights - the right to watch two hours of television every day. The family attend the funeral, only to find that Nick is now a professional mourner.

Episode 8

My Fair Charlady

29 mins

Susan decides she cannot do her job as well as the housework so she interviews for a cleaner, of whom Martha is easily the best candidate. Martha also takes over the cooking, much to the delight of the family as she is a far better cook than Susan so Susan has to resort to sabotage. Meanwhile Michael learns up on Football to impress a soccer-mad girl - much to the delight of Ben as it gives them a common interest - and Abi decides to learn all the words in the dictionary in order to become a librarian.

Episode 9

The Mouthtrap

29 mins

Susan has become fixated with her box set of 'Inspector Morse' detective dramas so, when Ben's patient Mr Addis declares, under sedation, that he has murdered his wife, she decides to investigate. She breaks into his house and is almost arrested herself. However she is confronted by Mrs Addis who explains that her husband is also obsessed with Inspector Morse and had been watching an episode of wife-killing. Meanwhile Michael tries to persuade everybody that he is dating a super-model.

Episode 10

While You Weren't Sleeping

29 mins

Because of Ben's snoring, Susan can't sleep. She tells him to use some devices that might help. Unfortunately, they don't, and Ben keeps snoring like a madman. When one night, after a fight, Susan sleeps on the couch, she's found her paradise: She slept like a little baby. Ben is happy too because of all the extra space in bed and they decide to keep sleeping apart. This makes Abby think Ben and Susan have marital problems and she even thinks it's her fault.

Episode 11

Dentist to the Stars

28 mins

When famous actor Colin Judd comes to the surgery Ben, unlike Roger, is not impressed but comes to see the prestige in having a star customer. Unfortunately he does his back in and it is Roger who gets taken to lunch by Colin, performing dental work on Jude Law and getting invited to a studio party. Furthermore a new production requires the part of a dentist, which is bad news for immobile Ben though when the film crew comes to the street Michael charges them to use the toilet. Susan meanwhile gets the sack but revises so she can be reinstated and then have the satisfaction of resigning.

Episode 12

A Wife Less Ordinary

29 mins

Susan and Janey decide to exchange life-styles for a week so Susan moves into Janey's flat and Ben takes up residence in the surgery, recreating his first date with Susan. Janey soon irritates Abi and Michael, treating them as the irresponsible children to her pretend husband and, whilst Ben initially enjoys his freedom, he soon starts to get lonely and pretend he is enjoying his bachelor existence. He eventually persuades Susan to return home to find that Michael has frightened away Abi's new boyfriend by spreading gossip about her.

Episode 13

The Book of Love

29 mins

Susan joins a book club run by Mr Griffin from next door but finds that they are the only members. Ben warns her that it is a set-up so Mr Griffin can make a play for her so she goes back a second time to prove him right. Janey decides she will become Ben's dental nurse for the day but takes her son Kenzo with her and generally annoys her father. Meanwhile Michael buys tickets for Coldplay online on Roger's behalf as Abi is keen to see the group and Roger wants to impress. When the tickets get lost and Michael offers to get more at a very high price Abi rumbles him and the tickets are somehow 'found'.

Episode 14

Going Dental

29 mins

Ben has business cards printed but they read 'Ben Hamper'. Hoping for a move to Harley Street he attends a conference at a hotel with eminent speaker Geoffrey Dutton but Susan is busy writing a novel so Janey accompanies him instead. However she refuses to wear a lapel badge marked Mrs Harper and it is assumed that she is Ben's mistress, something to which he plays up to impress Geoffrey. Janey is not pleased and when Susan arrives tells her the truth. Ben's chances seem doomed until Susan moves in to charm Geoffrey but unfortunately Geoffrey's wife recognizes her. Furthermore Michael and his friend Hubert have turned up at the hotel and run a very large bill for Ben to pay.

Episode 15

Glad Tidings We Bring

Fri, Nov 24, 2006

Janey is marrying the considerably older Ches whose sour-faced mother despises her as she thinks her fifty year old son too young to leave home. Her husband Ches Senior is only too glad to see him go so he can divorce his wife and has his sights set on Grace as his next bride. Michael is auctioning off the wedding presents on Ebay and the registrar thinks Ben and Ches are the happy couple. Is it any wonder Susan is knocking back the sauce and will the wedding actually go ahead?

Episode 16

Comic Relief Special

A particularly fearsome thunder-storm results in the family taking refuge in the master bedroom. However they are joined by a host of well-known faces including actors and television presenters, thanks to Nick, who is now a party reviewer and has decided to bring them home to meet the family.